In these troubled times, we should bear in mind that in a world built on such interactions, we can never hope for true peace. If each of us thinks about the other person only insofar as we can advance our own agenda, we will never truly live as one, in a peaceful society.
You are convinced you are right. You know exactly what needs to be done, and so you want everyone else to gain from your understanding, to follow your lead and work according to your plan. Nothing could be more logical. Yet, as we learned last week from the story with Hillel, the Torah demands more from us. We should not learn the Torah while standing on one foot, entrenched in our own thinking pattern, basing our avoda on only one approach. You can be bigger than who you think you are. You can recognize that there is someone else, someone else with a different view, a different approach. You can stand on ‘two feet’, making room for another person’s vision; you can work on his terms.
This mindset stands in stark contrast to the secular approach, to the way the world usually applies such understanding. Yes, yesh chochma ba’goyim. The field of psychology has much to say of Theory of Mind, the human capacity to ascribe mental states to another person. They also study the ability to understand another person’s point of view. However, it is incredibly tragic to contemplate the way they distorted this special gift, what Hillel understood to be the very foundation of a Torah personality! Instead of using it as Hillel advocated, as a way of building up another person, of building one’s relationships with other people, they use it as a devious means of achieving one’s personal and selfish goals. In their scheming hands, life is no more than a giant game of chess. Their advanced understanding of the other person’s perspective allows them to deftly move other people around like pawns, strategically manipulating them to bend to their will.
In these troubled times, we should bear in mind that in a world built on such interactions, we can never hope for true peace. If each of us thinks about the other person only insofar as we can advance our own agenda, we will never truly live as one, in a peaceful society.
Furthermore, as Yidden, we should understand that this mida goes to the very core of our identity as a nation. In the generations preceding the churban of the first Beis Hamikdash, the Yidden committed many great sins. However, these aveiros were relatively superficial. They did not infringe on our fundamental nature as Yidden, and thus reflected more about how we acted than who we truly were. Therefore, we returned to Eretz Yisroel a mere seventy years later.
The second Beis Hamikdash, on the other hand, was destroyed because of sinas chinam, baseless hatred. Why would someone hate another person for absolutely no reason? Only because they are “other,” because they do not conform to my preconceived notion of what they should be. In the twisted mind of the sonei, the other person’s ‘mistaken’ approach, so different from his own, has no right to exist. In this way, the entire world is reduced to the narrow slice of reality comprising his own self. This attitude undermined the basic concept of what it means to be a Yid. Having lost our essence, our very identity, we were sent into galus, and unfortunately, it seems we are still in the process of recovering this essential character.
Purim is a day when we celebrate our identity as Yidden. It is a unique Yom-Tov, as the salvation did not come about through open miracles. There was no overt spiritual message, because the message of Purim goes much deeper. The simple unfolding of events revealed that within the natural order of this world, within our regular physical lives, we are connected to Hashem and His purpose in Creation. Therefore, we were not given any elaborate mitzvos to perform on Purim. Furthermore, we become intoxicated, thus revealing that even in an inebriated state, stripped of our intellectual achievements, we are the am Hashem, a unique people, and our physicality, our very bodies, are permeated with this reality, and are compatible with the Torah’s ideals.
For this reason, Purim is associated with mechiyas Amalek, the commandment to wipe out the nation of Amalek. It is only at such a time, when we wholly identify as Yidden, that we stand firmly ‘on two feet’. Then, we can discern that those people are our polar opposites, exactly what a person should not be, and that they lost their right to exist.
Today, we struggle with this concept, affected by the secular outlook that surrounds us. We also focus on ourselves, and do not accord another person, and his ideas, the proper standing, and that is why the mitzva of mechiyas Amalek is not practical nowadays. If we share similar ideas, if we have the same thought process as them, then how can we dare assume to reject others completely, to the extent that we should actively annihilate them?
As a practical ramification of this idea, the current, popular refrain, that a certain country “deserves” to be crushed because of their grandparent’s actions two generations ago, should be treated with the utmost caution. If we are not living as Hillel taught us, if we are not fully occupied in building other people, then we should also be wary of entirely dismissing anyone, whether individuals or nations.
We need to apply Hillel’s yesod in all our relationships. However, this always presupposes that you can work with the other person under one umbrella, within the same framework. You need to relate to the other, to work on his terms, but with a shared understanding of what you mean to accomplish. In your home, although this idea is so crucial, it is much easier to identify your common ground. You and your spouse are both seeking to raise healthy and balanced children, to establish a happy and frum home. Additionally, there is already a powerful connection, and thus a strong motivation to get along. Therefore, even though you might have a completely different approach from each other – one more energetic and efficient, and the other more laid-back, for example – it is relatively simple to recognize them and work on their terms, as well. However, we need to expand this effort to our other relationships, to neighbors and acquaintances, as well. When they seem so different, we do not just walk away, or tolerate them. We try to understand, to go along with their perspective. Of course, we are entitled to assert ourselves, to pursue our own vision, as well. We do not always need to give in – but we need to be able to.
However, we need to avoid the pitfall of reaching too far, of embracing a lofty, all-encompassing ideal, and considering that as our common ground with others. If we do this, we will manage to include everyone under our slogan, like the popular, ‘inclusive’ values espoused by the liberal establishment, but then the entire effort becomes meaningless. Certainly, everyone agrees with some ideas! There is no expansion of the self, no venturing out of your comfort zone.
Chazal illustrated this distinction by highlighting the contrast between Moshe Rabbeinu and Bilam. We know that Bilam reached the greatest heights of prophecy, known as yodei’a da’as elyon, he was associated with many lofty ideas. Yet, his personal behavior was deplorable, because such general concepts do not produce results, they do not cause real avoda. When Moshe merited a glimpse of the Divine, on the other hand, he was shown the kesher Tefilin. This is not where Teflin lies on the head, thereby confining his focus to his cerebral activities. The kesher lies above the brainstem, where the brain connects to the spinal cord, signifying his task of actualizing these ideals, bringing them into one’s actions, into his avoda.
We have our work cut out for us. After all, our entire modern culture is based on the antithesis of this approach. The religion of Darwinism promotes the theory of the ‘survival of the fittest’, a worldview where all one’s interactions are aimed solely towards self-preservation. Indeed, Darwin himself wrote that if we were to identify a species that would engage in completely altruistic behavior, it would serve as falsification of his theory. Put another way, a person like Darwin could not imagine a world where pure chesed – the very lifeblood of a Yid – could exist. We must constantly stand ready to develop and promote the Torah outlook, to create a reality where we are turned outward, building one another, and bringing true peace to the world.
