Home > Lessons > Education > Chinuch 2021 – 2022 > Chinuch 2021-2022 > The Need of Tznius
In fact, this attitude is the most troublesome and destructive aspect of Darwinism. The theory of the ‘survival of the fittest’ describes a worldview where every species is naturally occupied with conquering others and emerging victorious as the dominant force.
We are exploring the midah of badad. Following the direction of Yaakov Avinu, we endeavor to grow and empower our individuality, albeit as a member of the klal. However, Rashi offers another example of badad. Yirmiyah Hanavi says, badad yushavti, I sat alone. While Rashi cautions us not to isolate ourselves from the tzibbur, the concept of badad certainly denotes a solitary undertaking. We must now understand that this degree of self-centeredness carries with it the possibility of grave danger.
Are we really seeking to work in solitude? This sounds like the breeding ground for anarchy, where everyone does as they please, interested only in furthering their own personal desires, without regard for the greater good. This can be the root of all evil. Under such circumstances, every person looks to expand themselves and their energies endlessly, trying to reach and acquire anything and everything in their grasp.
This is the fundamental nature of democracy, of our capitalistic system. Everyone is driven onward, always. They must express themselves fully, actualizing themselves and their desires fully, and swallowing up anything that stands in their path.
In fact, this attitude is the most troublesome and destructive aspect of Darwinism. The theory of the ‘survival of the fittest’ describes a worldview where every species is naturally occupied with conquering others and emerging victorious as the dominant force.
This is a perversion of the true nature of a human being, and it stands diametrically opposed to the Jewish viewpoint. Other religions have adapted this mindset, and seek to establish their superiority by defeating or subjugating all nonbelievers.
By contrast, Judaism is the only religion that does not see its role as taking over other cultures. On the contrary, we actively discourage potential converts. Furthermore, there are many different approaches to avodas Hashem, and many different types of Yidden, each with their own distinctive customs and nuances. Yet, one group does not seek to conquer and take over the others. Similarly, we are blessed with many great leaders. Yet our gedolim are individuals, with unique, and often differing, opinions, and we accept this as legitimate, even desirable. No single individual seeks to spread his opinion and power at the expense of all others.
It is clear that there must be some other element at work; some deeper aspect of badad that allows one to work as an individual, and to flourish, while holding the person in check, restraining him from expanding himself excessively. This is represented by the gefen and te’einah, the grapevine and fig tree in Rashi’s example. Every Yid is toiling in his personal cheilek, but he is not free and unfettered. He remains in the ‘shade of his tree’, which shields him from the outside, confining his work to a specific area. He seeks to grow, to appreciate his own worth and capability, but he does not seek to conquer all frontiers, to have a finger in every pot, to allow himself endless self-expression.
This essentially describes the midah of tznius. All too often misunderstood as merely an external standard for women’s appearances, tznius is the quintessential Jewish character trait that should serve as the cornerstone of our avoda. Remarkably, R’ Wolbe ztz”l was wont to say that if he could inscribe a ‘motto’ above the entrance to a Yeshiva, he would write the words, והצנע לכת עם אלקיך, the pasuk exhorting us to act with tznius. What is the true meaning of tznius?
The Gemara (Yoma 39a) discusses the weekly allocation of the lechem hapanim, and comments, הצנועין מושכין את ידיהן, those with the midah of tznius would ‘withdraw their hand’, and forgo their portion.
We see here that the midah of tznius is the development of one’s inner world. A tzanua directs his attention inward, not outward, and finds satisfaction from within. For this reason, tznius is described as the midah of a talmid chacham, because he is the person who has developed his inner world, someone who is happy and fulfilled with himself, with who he is, without requiring extraneous external gratification.
Thus, our midah of tznius causes us to refrain, to hold back. We are not meant to pursue every possibility – even if it is rightfully ours, and despite having the means and possibility to achieve it.
The common usage of the term tznius simply refers to one expression of this midah. A woman has the ability to make herself attractive and to present her beauty to the world, yet she chooses to hold back, to limit this exposure and refrain from indiscriminately displaying herself.
If we are to develop the midah of badad, to find our inner strength without extending ourselves past the appropriate boundaries, we must shift our focus, when exerting self-control, away from public perception. All too often, when we are faced with a temptation, when we have the possibility to spread ourselves too much, we fall back on the myriad external barriers we have erected. Let’s imagine that your child expresses a very strong interest in acquiring something questionable. We have our pat explanations all ready for him. “What will the neighbor say?” Or, “What will the school say?” Or even, “This is forbidden by the Torah, by the Rabbanim.” What is the message we convey to the child? That if not for our social image, if not for the rules, if not for halachah, we would be happy to give him whatever he wants.
This is not proper chinuch. We must impart to our children the midah of tznius. Instead of building bigger and stronger walls, we can teach them restraint. We can help them understand that it is not beneficial for them to indulge their every whim. I am badad, I find what I need within myself. I do not need to expand constantly, to take all I can get, to satisfy my every desire.
We need to train ourselves to resist the natural impulse to express ourselves fully. We do not need to be jack-of-all-trades. Everyone else does not need to know what we’ve done, what we’ve accomplished, what we’re capable of. We must exert more effort at building a rich, vibrant inner world, where we are comfortable with ourselves, without external validation.
Similarly, we should evaluate possible entertainment venues for our children, not only to ascertain their kashrus, but to reflect on whether we are needlessly chasing something simply because we can, to give them the ‘full experience’. We can conveniently ‘forget’ to take care of certain errands, instead of responding to their every request at the drop of a hat. Sometimes, we can just say to our children, “We don’t need to do that.”
Badad means to see ourselves as greater than we imagined. This also means we must be greater than ourselves, greater than our desires, than our pull towards self-gratification and self-realization. Motivated by our striving for true greatness, we can find within ourselves everything we need to become all we can be.
We are exploring the midah of badad. Following the direction of Yaakov Avinu, we endeavor to grow and empower our individuality, albeit as a member of the klal. However, Rashi offers another example of badad. Yirmiyah Hanavi says, badad yushavti, I sat alone. While Rashi cautions us not to isolate ourselves from the tzibbur, the concept of badad certainly denotes a solitary undertaking. We must now understand that this degree of self-centeredness carries with it the possibility of grave danger.
Are we really seeking to work in solitude? This sounds like the breeding ground for anarchy, where everyone does as they please, interested only in furthering their own personal desires, without regard for the greater good. This can be the root of all evil. Under such circumstances, every person looks to expand themselves and their energies endlessly, trying to reach and acquire anything and everything in their grasp.
This is the fundamental nature of democracy, of our capitalistic system. Everyone is driven onward, always. They must express themselves fully, actualizing themselves and their desires fully, and swallowing up anything that stands in their path.
In fact, this attitude is the most troublesome and destructive aspect of Darwinism. The theory of the ‘survival of the fittest’ describes a worldview where every species is naturally occupied with conquering others and emerging victorious as the dominant force.
This is a perversion of the true nature of a human being, and it stands diametrically opposed to the Jewish viewpoint. Other religions have adapted this mindset, and seek to establish their superiority by defeating or subjugating all nonbelievers.
By contrast, Judaism is the only religion that does not see its role as taking over other cultures. On the contrary, we actively discourage potential converts. Furthermore, there are many different approaches to avodas Hashem, and many different types of Yidden, each with their own distinctive customs and nuances. Yet, one group does not seek to conquer and take over the others. Similarly, we are blessed with many great leaders. Yet our gedolim are individuals, with unique, and often differing, opinions, and we accept this as legitimate, even desirable. No single individual seeks to spread his opinion and power at the expense of all others.
It is clear that there must be some other element at work; some deeper aspect of badad that allows one to work as an individual, and to flourish, while holding the person in check, restraining him from expanding himself excessively. This is represented by the gefen and te’einah, the grapevine and fig tree in Rashi’s example. Every Yid is toiling in his personal cheilek, but he is not free and unfettered. He remains in the ‘shade of his tree’, which shields him from the outside, confining his work to a specific area. He seeks to grow, to appreciate his own worth and capability, but he does not seek to conquer all frontiers, to have a finger in every pot, to allow himself endless self-expression.
This essentially describes the midah of tznius. All too often misunderstood as merely an external standard for women’s appearances, tznius is the quintessential Jewish character trait that should serve as the cornerstone of our avoda. Remarkably, R’ Wolbe ztz”l was wont to say that if he could inscribe a ‘motto’ above the entrance to a Yeshiva, he would write the words, והצנע לכת עם אלקיך, the pasuk exhorting us to act with tznius. What is the true meaning of tznius?
The Gemara (Yoma 39a) discusses the weekly allocation of the lechem hapanim, and comments, הצנועין מושכין את ידיהן, those with the midah of tznius would ‘withdraw their hand’, and forgo their portion.
We see here that the midah of tznius is the development of one’s inner world. A tzanua directs his attention inward, not outward, and finds satisfaction from within. For this reason, tznius is described as the midah of a talmid chacham, because he is the person who has developed his inner world, someone who is happy and fulfilled with himself, with who he is, without requiring extraneous external gratification.
Thus, our midah of tznius causes us to refrain, to hold back. We are not meant to pursue every possibility – even if it is rightfully ours, and despite having the means and possibility to achieve it.
The common usage of the term tznius simply refers to one expression of this midah. A woman has the ability to make herself attractive and to present her beauty to the world, yet she chooses to hold back, to limit this exposure and refrain from indiscriminately displaying herself.
If we are to develop the midah of badad, to find our inner strength without extending ourselves past the appropriate boundaries, we must shift our focus, when exerting self-control, away from public perception. All too often, when we are faced with a temptation, when we have the possibility to spread ourselves too much, we fall back on the myriad external barriers we have erected. Let’s imagine that your child expresses a very strong interest in acquiring something questionable. We have our pat explanations all ready for him. “What will the neighbor say?” Or, “What will the school say?” Or even, “This is forbidden by the Torah, by the Rabbanim.” What is the message we convey to the child? That if not for our social image, if not for the rules, if not for halachah, we would be happy to give him whatever he wants.
This is not proper chinuch. We must impart to our children the midah of tznius. Instead of building bigger and stronger walls, we can teach them restraint. We can help them understand that it is not beneficial for them to indulge their every whim. I am badad, I find what I need within myself. I do not need to expand constantly, to take all I can get, to satisfy my every desire.
We need to train ourselves to resist the natural impulse to express ourselves fully. We do not need to be jack-of-all-trades. Everyone else does not need to know what we’ve done, what we’ve accomplished, what we’re capable of. We must exert more effort at building a rich, vibrant inner world, where we are comfortable with ourselves, without external validation.
Similarly, we should evaluate possible entertainment venues for our children, not only to ascertain their kashrus, but to reflect on whether we are needlessly chasing something simply because we can, to give them the ‘full experience’. We can conveniently ‘forget’ to take care of certain errands, instead of responding to their every request at the drop of a hat. Sometimes, we can just say to our children, “We don’t need to do that.”
Badad means to see ourselves as greater than we imagined. This also means we must be greater than ourselves, greater than our desires, than our pull towards self-gratification and self-realization. Motivated by our striving for true greatness, we can find within ourselves everything we need to become all we can be.