Home > Lessons > Education > Chinuch 2021 – 2022 > Chinuch 2021-2022 > How to Trigger Your Own Personal World
If we approach our own thinking in this way, we will equip ourselves to educate our children properly. Our aim is not to produce a perfectly functioning child. We want to educate, to develop, the child himself, to focus on his personal kochos. We need to truly listen to him, to understand his perspective, and to become acquainted with his inner reality.
When describing the building of the Mishkan, the Torah stresses nedivas lev, the ‘contributions of the heart’. This does not only refer to the generous spirit that accompanied the physical donations. Rather, the willing desire to give to the Mishkan indicated the person’s involvement and interest in the initiative. We see from here that the primary component in creating a place for avodas Hashem is the connection, the extent that it stems from one’s inner self.
Similarly, the Rambam famously writes that any individual who is nadva rucho oso, he willingly gives of himself, can attain the special status of shevet Levi, wholly dedicating their lives to Torah and avodas Hashem. Apparently, nedivas lev is also the basis of a true connection to Torah learning.
What exactly is nedivas lev? When we speak of the ‘heart’, it is not merely a reference to one’s emotional aspirations. Investing your heart means that the effort is central to your life. It touches you – your midos, your personality, whatever makes you tick. Doing something with nedivas lev means that you take it with the utmost seriousness, because it relates to the essence of who you are.
We now see that the effort to relate our own midos to the Torah is much more than a method of building ourselves properly. It is the cornerstone of our work, the first step in all meaningful avoda.
It is therefore crucial to explore ways to educate ourselves and our children to become personally involved in mitzvos. Clearly, this is the only way we can truly safeguard our families and communities from the devastating influences that surround and threaten us. It is an unfortunate reality that the most common tools used nowadays against these unwanted exposures are fear and intimidation. We establish firm expectations from all members of our society, and anyone who does not conform risks various forms of rejection and ostracism. Yet, anyone who works with our youth can testify that although they are aware of these consequences, they serve as quite a poor deterrent.
We must approach these matters differently. If we would relate strongly to our avoda, if it would truly be a personal endeavor, we would withstand the pull of the outside world; it might not even entice us.
The first step in developing a deeper connection to Torah or mitzvos is to ensure that we can engage in a productive thinking process. However, a surprisingly large number of people work under a mistaken premise regarding the basic nature of what it means to think. They relate to their power of cognition primarily as a problem-solving tool. When faced with a dilemma, or a complicated issue, they can turn over the issue in their minds, and examine it from all angles, seeking a satisfactory solution. However, this means that they are focusing all their attention on an external problem, and they are looking outward for clarity.
This is not the basic function of our thinking. R’ Yisroel Salanter explained that our thoughts are rooted in our midos. This does not mean that we must resign ourselves to dealing with our limited capacity for pure and abstract thought. It is how we are built, it is how we are meant to be. The ideal form of thought involves turning inward and relating to our own perception of an issue. Even if we do not know the answer, we are always capable of contemplating the matter. Instinctively, we have a feeling, some idea in which direction the solution lies. Our mistake lies with the next step. We immediately move into problem-solving mode, testing whether our initial thought can serve as a possible resolution.
Instead, we should focus on the thoughts themselves. If you produced this idea, it is worthy of further attention. In a certain sense, you are thinking about yourself, about your own way of perceiving the issue. We need to pay closer attention to our ideas, to strive to deepen our understanding of the thoughts that arise within us.
We are not accustomed to thinking in this way. We simply do not listen to ourselves, because we are too eager to apply the ideas practically. We are further restrained by our fixation with popular opinion. After all, our ideas must pass muster by the masses that will visit our Facebook page! We avoid any hint of an idea that runs counter to the accepted wisdom, for fear of falling victim to the current cancel culture.
In such a world, our thinking has become shallow, prone to generalities and oversimplification. We need to give the proper credence to our own thoughts, to allow ourselves to delve into our ideas more fully. In this manner, we will activate our nedivas lev, becoming personally involved in our learning, in our ideas. We come to realize that it is not only my skills that are valuable; it is my own self, and my own personality, that become engaged in the learning. I am not just productive in applying my ideas to the world around me, I am developing a vibrant, inner world. Furthermore, by tuning into our thoughts, and our thought process, we also become more aware of our own midos, of the components of this inner life. This helps us educate ourselves and develop our midos, as well.
If we approach our own thinking in this way, we will equip ourselves to educate our children properly. Our aim is not to produce a perfectly functioning child. We want to educate, to develop, the child himself, to focus on his personal kochos. We need to truly listen to him, to understand his perspective, and to become acquainted with his inner reality. And we need to train them to care about their thoughts, their inner world, and to be courageous enough to give it voice, to believe in its value. Instead of stuffing them with more and more information, trying to get them to think “properly” – i.e. to think like us – we should teach them the importance of their own thoughts. To be open to their own ideas, and to help them explore their possibilities.
The Shabbos seuda is an ideal time for this practice. We do not need to share a prepared vort, or to test our children on what they learned the past week. Pose a question – the more open-ended, the better. Encourage them to think, and make sure they see that you are not prompting them for the ‘right’ answer. And when they share their thoughts, consider them seriously, and embolden them to take it further, to explore, to try to deepen their understanding. Give them the gift of thinking, and unlock the doors to the endless vistas that are open to nedivei lev.
When describing the building of the Mishkan, the Torah stresses nedivas lev, the ‘contributions of the heart’. This does not only refer to the generous spirit that accompanied the physical donations. Rather, the willing desire to give to the Mishkan indicated the person’s involvement and interest in the initiative. We see from here that the primary component in creating a place for avodas Hashem is the connection, the extent that it stems from one’s inner self.
Similarly, the Rambam famously writes that any individual who is nadva rucho oso, he willingly gives of himself, can attain the special status of shevet Levi, wholly dedicating their lives to Torah and avodas Hashem. Apparently, nedivas lev is also the basis of a true connection to Torah learning.
What exactly is nedivas lev? When we speak of the ‘heart’, it is not merely a reference to one’s emotional aspirations. Investing your heart means that the effort is central to your life. It touches you – your midos, your personality, whatever makes you tick. Doing something with nedivas lev means that you take it with the utmost seriousness, because it relates to the essence of who you are.
We now see that the effort to relate our own midos to the Torah is much more than a method of building ourselves properly. It is the cornerstone of our work, the first step in all meaningful avoda.
It is therefore crucial to explore ways to educate ourselves and our children to become personally involved in mitzvos. Clearly, this is the only way we can truly safeguard our families and communities from the devastating influences that surround and threaten us. It is an unfortunate reality that the most common tools used nowadays against these unwanted exposures are fear and intimidation. We establish firm expectations from all members of our society, and anyone who does not conform risks various forms of rejection and ostracism. Yet, anyone who works with our youth can testify that although they are aware of these consequences, they serve as quite a poor deterrent.
We must approach these matters differently. If we would relate strongly to our avoda, if it would truly be a personal endeavor, we would withstand the pull of the outside world; it might not even entice us.
The first step in developing a deeper connection to Torah or mitzvos is to ensure that we can engage in a productive thinking process. However, a surprisingly large number of people work under a mistaken premise regarding the basic nature of what it means to think. They relate to their power of cognition primarily as a problem-solving tool. When faced with a dilemma, or a complicated issue, they can turn over the issue in their minds, and examine it from all angles, seeking a satisfactory solution. However, this means that they are focusing all their attention on an external problem, and they are looking outward for clarity.
This is not the basic function of our thinking. R’ Yisroel Salanter explained that our thoughts are rooted in our midos. This does not mean that we must resign ourselves to dealing with our limited capacity for pure and abstract thought. It is how we are built, it is how we are meant to be. The ideal form of thought involves turning inward and relating to our own perception of an issue. Even if we do not know the answer, we are always capable of contemplating the matter. Instinctively, we have a feeling, some idea in which direction the solution lies. Our mistake lies with the next step. We immediately move into problem-solving mode, testing whether our initial thought can serve as a possible resolution.
Instead, we should focus on the thoughts themselves. If you produced this idea, it is worthy of further attention. In a certain sense, you are thinking about yourself, about your own way of perceiving the issue. We need to pay closer attention to our ideas, to strive to deepen our understanding of the thoughts that arise within us.
We are not accustomed to thinking in this way. We simply do not listen to ourselves, because we are too eager to apply the ideas practically. We are further restrained by our fixation with popular opinion. After all, our ideas must pass muster by the masses that will visit our Facebook page! We avoid any hint of an idea that runs counter to the accepted wisdom, for fear of falling victim to the current cancel culture.
In such a world, our thinking has become shallow, prone to generalities and oversimplification. We need to give the proper credence to our own thoughts, to allow ourselves to delve into our ideas more fully. In this manner, we will activate our nedivas lev, becoming personally involved in our learning, in our ideas. We come to realize that it is not only my skills that are valuable; it is my own self, and my own personality, that become engaged in the learning. I am not just productive in applying my ideas to the world around me, I am developing a vibrant, inner world. Furthermore, by tuning into our thoughts, and our thought process, we also become more aware of our own midos, of the components of this inner life. This helps us educate ourselves and develop our midos, as well.
If we approach our own thinking in this way, we will equip ourselves to educate our children properly. Our aim is not to produce a perfectly functioning child. We want to educate, to develop, the child himself, to focus on his personal kochos. We need to truly listen to him, to understand his perspective, and to become acquainted with his inner reality. And we need to train them to care about their thoughts, their inner world, and to be courageous enough to give it voice, to believe in its value. Instead of stuffing them with more and more information, trying to get them to think “properly” – i.e. to think like us – we should teach them the importance of their own thoughts. To be open to their own ideas, and to help them explore their possibilities.
The Shabbos seuda is an ideal time for this practice. We do not need to share a prepared vort, or to test our children on what they learned the past week. Pose a question – the more open-ended, the better. Encourage them to think, and make sure they see that you are not prompting them for the ‘right’ answer. And when they share their thoughts, consider them seriously, and embolden them to take it further, to explore, to try to deepen their understanding. Give them the gift of thinking, and unlock the doors to the endless vistas that are open to nedivei lev.