Bein HaMetzarim – Relating to the world with Yiras Shomayim

Bein HaMetzarim – Relating to the world with Yiras Shomayim

In Eretz Yisroel, the irreligious have a strong grievance against the Yeshivos whose talmidim do not join the army. On the outset, it looks like they literally resent Frum people not picking up rifles and shooting! But that is very superficial. In reality, their ta’anah is much deeper than that. They are upset with the fact that b’nei yeshivah remove themselves from the realities of the world.

This is a message for us to strongly consider. It points out a general problem in our communities, which has become elevated to a tragic one in Eretz Yisroel. 

Our reaction to the tragedies and wars have been to stay where we are, but to add some davening and tehillim to our day. After nine months, even the tehillim starts to become rote and meaningless. Perhaps during bein hazemanim, bochurim might have to reconsider their vacation plans as both the north and the south are danger zones, but other than that, there is a rather awkward disconnect with the realities of the world around us. This is not a discussion of us not being nosei b’ol im chaveiro. Rather, we must face the fact that the realities of the world fail to speak to us!

Even worse, we tell ourselves that this is actually the way of the Torah, and this is what Yiddishkeit is all about. We say that we are in the ohel – the tent of Torah – and everything in the outside world is irrelevant to us.

Harav Avrah Eliyahu Kaplan in his sefer, B’ikvos Hayirah, characterizes a ben Torah as a רואה ואינו נראה – one who sees the world around him, but isn’t seen due to his tznius. Today, it seems to be exactly the opposite. The ben Torah is נראה ואינו רואה – we are a presence with a strong political impact, but we see nothing outside of us. It is awkward, painfully awkward.

We need to understand where this comes from, because it is shocking how deep the problem is, and we must work on it. 

When the Nefesh Hachaim speaks about the way a person relates to the world, he always uses terms of yiras shomayim. In the first Sha’ar, he says that every single Jew has to know how monumental his actions are, and no part of it gets lost. He goes on to describe the great consequences of everything we do. One illustration provided by the Nefesh Hachaim is that even a small הרהור רע is tantamount to defiling the kodesh hakodashim in the worst way imaginable. These are words of yirah, not ahavah! He does not tell us how much love there is between us and the Borei Olam, and how responsible Hashem makes us. Quite the opposite! Our actions have destructive capabilities, and we bear their responsibility!

Perhaps the Nefesh Hachaim was simply “a good Litvak ” who focused on things in a morose way. That can’t be. In Chapters 17, 18, 19, and 20, he doesn’t discuss relating to the world at all. In those chapters he talks about the chiyuv to do teshuva, to work on oneself, and to be mesaken one’s neshama and nefesh. There he explains that the Borei Olam is concerned for us, connecting everything for us so that we can grow, and continue to grow infinitely closer to Him. Even when we do aveiros, we can still work on ourselves to be chozer b’teshuvah, affording us the opportunity to return our neshama clean and pure. 

We need to consider the discrepancy between the first few perakim and the later ones. In the earlier perakim, when the Nefesh Hachaim discusses the power of our machshavah, he warns that a wrong or crooked machshavah can destroy the world. The focus is solely on the fear of destruction, without encouraging us that good machshavos can help us attain new heights and be an aliyah to the world. Only in the later portions of the sefer are we shown the potential of our good actions.

The Nefesh Hachaim is showing us something profound. The basis of our relationship to the world is yiras shomayim. Hence, the message of the first chapters of the sefer, which focus on yirah alone. However, the basis of the relationship to our own avodah is ahavas Hashem. This is what is dealt with in the later perakim. We must relate to the world around us with unwavering yiras shomayim, but for our own development, our own self work, we use the strength of ahavah, knowing that we can grow, we can shteig, we can get bigger, we can even overcome problems and challenges in our lives.

Nowadays, however, it seems we have abandoned yiras shomayim entirely. Even speaking about the idea of yiras shomayim will make one unpopular! People want to be positively motivated! They want to have she’ifos! They want to be “elevated!” When yiras shomayim is suggested, the response is that yirah was good for past generations but does not apply anymore. They are quick to cite a “kabbalah b’yadeinu” from Rav Itze’le Peterberger that today’s generation cannot work with yiras shomayim, only with ahavas Hashem.

As yiras shomayim is moved out of view, the Borei Olam has sent a clear message to the contrary. At a time of increased danger, with literal missiles landing in our cities, we realize that the world is being destroyed around us. We see yirah clearly. The world is dangerous!

We must contrast the demand for yiras shomayim with the way we are accustomed to thinking about our own avodah.

We tend to look for “geshmak” in our avodah. But there is a danger in that. Have you ever enjoyed a beautiful summer day with a delicious ice cream, and suddenly an annoying mosquito began buzzing around you? The entire pleasure of the moment is gone, regardless of the relative insignificance of the insect. This is because the nature of “geshmak” is that to have any geshmak, you need full geshmak.

When that gets translated into learning or davening, for example, it becomes very risky. We can have geshmak in Torah, but external danger, whether in the north or in the south, will destroy any geshmak we have. The annoyance of a mosquito is nothing compared with the threat of a missile! Because my avodas Hashem is based on my own feelings of romemus, my own sense of aliyah, my personal geshmak in my growth, it won’t be able to hold up to the disturbance of any outside distractions, thus endangering any avodas Hashem!

To combat this, we’ve come up with a glorious idea: Let’s just shut it all out. Let’s close the windows and bolt the shutters and keep out all of the outside world. This way, we can keep going with our learning, and davening, and continue to only pursue geshmak in all of our avodas Hashem. Nothing will bother us now – we are on the inside and the distractions are all on the outside.

But the Nefesh Hachaim says that we relate to the world around us with yiras shomayim, not with geshmak! How do we do this? What does it mean to relate to avodah with yiras shomayim?

Let’s first discuss what it is not.

We might be quite relaxed in avodas Hashem, but we all know someone who goes about their kiyum hamitzvos with nervousness. He always seems to have s’feikos about his avodah, he’s never complacent, and he seems to seek out chumros. We convince ourselves that this person is simply a high-pressure person, without any real yiras shomayim. But deep down, we’re not so sure. We have s’feikos of our own about this. Perhaps this fellow really is a yarei shomayim. Maybe this is what yiras shomayim is actually all about.

This uneasiness is a product of not understanding yiras shomayim. The first step in yiras shomayim is the understanding that the endeavor of Torah and mitzvos is important. Its importance is not because of what it does for you, not because of how it builds you and makes you a bigger person. It is intrinsically important! This distinction is critical, and one that we often miss. We view the importance in terms of results. How close will I become when I daven? How much bigger will I be when I learn? This is wrong! It is simply an important thing that you daven, that you learn, that you are mekayem mitzvos – and that you endeavor to do these things in a serious and consequential way!

How does the importance of these endeavors apply practically? Let’s take davening for example. We have all been davening for many years. Some of us have been davening for decades. But let’s pose the following question: How many different ways do you daven? This is a tricky question. What does it even mean to daven in different ways? Isn’t davening just davening? Sure, we recognize that sometimes we daven better than other times, and then, we tell ourselves that our davening needs chizzuk, an effort that lasts for about two days. When the chizzuk dries out, we go for a sichas hisorerus! This buys us another half day. After that, we’re basically out of options. All we can do is hope the cycle will repeat itself with a little more success next time.

Where is the importance in davening? There is none, because we do not relate to davening with any yiras shomayim at all. If it would be important to us, we would work on it. We would tackle the problem in different ways. When an army has a challenging front to conquer, they devise plans with all different kinds of strategies. One route will need airplanes, another area will require tanks. Do we try to devise strategies and plans for davening? Without yiras shomayim, we fail to see any significant importance to the endeavor, only to the result. But the reality is exactly the opposite. The result is immaterial, the endeavor is of ultimate importance!

To illustrate an example of one approach to finding new ways of davening, let’s explore the words of Chazal that enjoin us to daven as if we are counting money. Whereas general speech is an oral expression of the thoughts originated in our minds, when you verbally count money, your words are expressing the actions and feelings of your hands. As you see and feel each bill or coin, you pronounce the number it represents. Your words are guided wholly by your fingers’ “discoveries.”

We can daven like that as well!

We can look in a siddur and point to the words. Point to each word individually, then say the word that your finger “discovered.” It will be an eye-opening experience! You will perceive meaning in the words that will surprise you! This is not merely a chizzuk in davening, but a whole new way of davening. Certainly, this is not the only way to daven, and its efficacy will subside after a while. Just as an army adjusts its strategies as the terrain changes and enemy tactics vary, we must not be afraid to do the same in our avodas Hashem. If the endeavor is important, we will look for new ways to daven! The Mashgiach, Rav Wolbe, had a period in which he davened each word from a siddur. At one point he stopped and began davening by heart.  A Bochur, unaware of the purposeful change, was pointedly chastised when he decided to “help” the Mashgiach by bringing him a siddur. The Mashgiach taught us that we must be prepared to adjust and change the way we daven because davening is important! The war is ongoing, our enemies are fighting, and we need to keep working! Our davening is not to be evaluated by how it makes us feel. It is important – in these times of tzaros, more than ever!

When it comes to learning Torah, we must take it just as seriously. So many people listen to a shiur with a carefree attitude. Do they remember what they heard? Is it important to them? If learning is important, we would devise ways of remembering what we learn. We would make sure we really pay attention to what is being said in a shiur. How many people have sat through a shiur, nodding their heads in approval, yet afterwards fail to be able to say over one thing they actually learned! How important was the shiur after all?

We live at a time in which we are not educated towards yiras shomayim, only towards geshmak. Certainly, there is a place for ahavah, but that does not mean that we should close our eyes to what is going on all around us. The world is an insecure and tenuous place. It is a dangerous place. Are we so afraid that any lack of geshmak will disturb our learning that we simply ignore it all?

The importance given to the endeavors of avodas Hashem is what yiras shomayim is all about. That is what we need to think about. We have to restore our yiras shomayim, and we can bring it back into our avodah in a very healthy way. We can bring it into our davening, our learning, bein adam lechaveiro, etc. We must be like soldiers fighting a war, who are much less concerned about how they feel, and ultimately focused on the job at hand. It is our mission and our war, and we must take it seriously.