Third va’ad Elul – The Basis of Teshuva: wanting to realize another world

The Basis of Teshuva: wanting to realize another world.

(In the previous vaadim, we have been working with Malchus Shomayim. To live with Malchus Shomayim is to live in a world which belongs to Hashem. And we live in that world not only with our intellect, but with the most basic part of our being, the body. Avodah with the body, specifically, enables us to enter a world of Malchus Shomayim otherwise closed to us. As such, we discovered that Teshuva can be straightforward and flexible, because even the simplest action is invested with meaning. Still, there is more. This inclination, movement towards Malchus Shomayim is actually the basis of Teshuva.)

Searching for a simple Teshuva

Our goal in these vaadim is to pave a way for Teshuva to be done simply. We have become accustomed to building complex, precise approaches to Teshuva. But Teshuva is for everyone, not just the sophisticated. We cannot expect every person to correctly identify their inner being, to classify the many forces at play within it, and after all that, to make the perfect adjustment that brings it all together. We have to be more practical.

Some people try to make it simple by focusing on ratzon. All you have to do is to really want to be good. It might not be easy, but it is quite simple. It doesn’t work though. We learn that from Achav. Chazal say that his name means “אח לה’ ואב לעבודה זרה”- a brother to Hashem and a father to idolatry. People are complicated; a person can want both good and evil. Even if we develop an intense desire for good, even if we reach the level of אח לה’, we still have to deal with our desire for evil.

How can we make Teshuva simple? We need an approach that can incorporate any action- even something as simple as putting on the right shoe before the left.

”קוה קויתי לה’– to hope for another world

Dovid Hamelech says “קוה קויתי לה’ ויט אלי וישמע שועתי”- I hoped for Hashem and he leaned to me and heard my prayer. The Midrash on the pasuk says, “אין ביד ישראל אלא קווי”- Yisroel has nothing but to hope…” This hope is referred to in Chazal as צפיה לישועה, longing for salvation. An illustration. You might look at the world around you, your community for example, and feel a deep dissatisfaction. Things are not the way they are supposed to be and it bothers you tremendously. Then you may start thinking about the different changes that should be made: this person should go there and that institution should do this. That’s a waste of time because no one asked you. (And if they did, things would be even worse.) It’s also not צפיה לישועה; it’s waiting for people to do X and Y, to follow your opinion. What is צפיה לישועה? You understand that things must change, something has to happen, but you don’t know what. You know there is something that will rescue us from our troubles, but you have no idea how. You are longing for something which is outside of your understanding, your realm. Something above: “קוה קויתי לה’”.

The Tehillim continues, “ויעלני מבור שאון מטיט היון ויקם על סלע רגלי כונן אשרי ויתן בפי שיר חדש תהלה לאלהינו יראו רבים וייראו ויבטחו בה’”- And he took me out of my difficulties… and my feet were standing on a rock, and he put in my mouth a new song… many will see that and they will fear and trust Hashem. The Midrash makes the following cryptic statement, “יראו רבים-כל הרוצה לעשות תשובה יסתכל בדוד”, Whoever wants to do Teshuva should observe (learn from) Dovid. Here lies a secret: the starting point of Teshuva is קוה קויתי לה’.

The desire to be שב, to return to the Borei Olam, is built on this hope. Teshuva is not simply an act of self-improvement; it is the realization of another world, the world of the Borei Olam. There is a different world, and that world is above me- I can’t fully grasp it. Yet I believe in it and hope for it, and I want to be a part of it. That is the basis of Teshuva: I want to be part of Hashem’s world.

The world of the Borei Olam- Malchus Shomayim

We now understand that Malchus Shomayim precedes Teshuva. When we say that want to live in a world that belongs to the Borei Olam, we are saying that we want Malchus Shomayim. Malchus Shomayim is not to be related to as solely a yoke, weighing us down. It doesn’t have to be forced. It is a different world- it’s like being in a different place. Every place has its own rules and understandings, and you live that way because that’s the way it is here. During Krias Shema, you enter the world of Hashem, and therefore you don’t move your body whenever you want. 

This is the background of Teshuva- a Jew aspires to live in that world. Rosh Hashana, which is the day of Malchus Shomayim, is also the beginning of the Aseres Y’mei Teshuva. Read “ובכן תן פחדך”: the Land itself will rejoice, all evil will evaporate, and so on. We do not know what that will look like, but that is the world of the Borei Olam that we only begin to enter on Rosh Hashana. 

A simple Teshuva

Every action, every Mitzvah, can be an entrance into a world of Malchus Shomayim. Take for example the way you put on your shoes. In our world, it makes no difference. But in the world of the Borei Olam, it is important. Those are the ‘rules’ of His world. Teshuva is to return to that world. And I can do that just by putting on my right shoe before my left. 

This will be the framework for our Teshuva. We begin with hope- קוה קויתי לה’, we want the Borei Olam’s world. We experience that world during Krias Shema and Shemona Esrei. And then our קבלה קטנה, a simple action, is an actualization of that world. Your simple action is part of something greater, and full of meaning.