Menucha and Being Content

Menucha and Being Content

Introduction

In order to really connect to the Avoda of Shabbos, we firstly have to talk of our experiences which are not connected specifically to torah. Something which is part of our daily lives – and not something which comes from a torah perspective. Because torah is not something which we can simply read and internalize. Rather we need to find an aspect of our lives which is very real, and then see where that connects to torah. Avoda can only be real for you if it is something you have a natural affinity with. 

I was once in London – and I visited the National Gallery. I saw a picture I was already familiar with, by Monet – a real piece of genius. Standing in front of the original, I was immediately struck by the fact that I had been touched by that picture, although I was not entirely sure why. I had seen only one picture – and that was enough for me, I really did not need to see anything else. However, the people around me were looking at the pictures and just walking by. They had come to see the pictures so they could tell their children what they had seen. They were not looking for depth and meaning in each picture. 

Growing from the outside in…

One can learn from this experience something very important. We have to realise that growth is not only from within, that which is on the outside also influences us. It could be hearing a story, or listening to music, or seeing a picture – they all have an impact on our lives, and they all come from the outside. But there is a limit to how much you can take in at any given time. 

In the world of Kedusha this is comparable to listening to a shiur, or reading a sefer. How many shiurim can you listen to? If you have really been touched, then you cannot listen to one shiur after another. You have to really absorb the message – you have to give yourself time, for things to make a meaningful impact on your life.

I have a really good friend, he was a talmid of Rav Hutner ztz”l and now he is a talmid of Reb Yonason. He told me once that he has a real problem when he reads Pachad Yitzchok on Purim – because there are short shtiklach there. So he reads one piece and he really enjoys it, but then he wants to move on and enjoy the next. But he understands that that is not the right thing to do. After one piece he forces himself to put the sefer back on the shelf – and for a whole day he thinks about it. He lets it have an impact on his life. 

A common misconception

There is a common misconception, that a person who is content with himself is happy with what he has, whereas a person who needs to experience something from the outside is certainly not content. Such a person is assumed to look a little stressed as he experiences the deeper meaning of things which exist outside of his own reality. 

This misconception creates a problem when we come to work on Shabbos. We know that Shabbos comes to us from the outside – the day arrives whether you decide that you are ready or not. There is special food, davening, all sorts of aspect which are called “oneg Shabbos” and they are all experiences and activities which one experiences as something which is outside of yourself. Shabbos certainly is not about mediating and being alone with yourself. On the other hand, Shabbos is also not about being stressed the moment we are touched by things which are on the outside.  

This is true regarding all aspects of Yiddishkeit. Mitzvos are divided into only two different categories בין אדם למקום and בין אדם לחבירו – there is no mitzvah בין אדם לעצמו.  The torah sees a Jew as the only creature in creation who reaches perfection by experiencing a reality outside of himself. One needs dveikus with the Borei Olam to reach perfection. One needs mitzvos בין אדם לחברו to reach perfection. We are not fully developed if we cannot relate to something outside of ourselves.   

Shabbos – being content as we experience Shabbos

On Sabbos we should reach a state of contentment – not after Shabbos (that is to say in retrospect) but rather as we experience Shabbos. Menuchas Shabbos is about how we experience eating – when we eat. It is about experiencing davening – when we daven. It is not about having those experiences and then sitting in a quiet room and contemplating those experiences. Shabbos is about your interaction with the outside world, and experiencing the effect it has on you. In a similar way as a picture by Cezanne or Monet or a piece of Beethoven, or a story can also have an effect on us. 

It is clear now that we need that “human dimension”, which can be used in finding an opening in the world of Avoda. If we try to work with lofty ideas which do not have any real expression in our world they will remain abstract. You cannot simply start with avoda – you have to see where avoda can have a real influence on you. That is why we brought the example of seeing pictures in the National Gallery. There we found something on the outside which touches our world. 

This sort of avoda is relevant to everyone…despite what you might think

Certainly many people might say that not everyone can relate to the sort of experiences we have spoken of. Some people are more intellectually minded, and cannot be content with something which touches them from the outside. They are always looking to grow; they are always looking at the next stage. They might even assume that to be the pshat in the phrase אנו רצים והם רצים, that one has to be running all the time.  

However, we all know that to experience Shabbos is to experience menuchas Shabbos – and every member of Klal Yisroel can experience that, because it is part of who we are and where we are going. Our tachlis is to reach menuchas hanefesh[1]. If someone feels that he has not got the ability to experience something outside of himself and feel content at that moment with what he is experiencing, then the avoda of Shabbos really will be almost impossible.   

Making a start with Kiddush

Perhaps a place to start is Kiddush. Kiddush is essentially the first avoda of Shabbos at home. There are two different approaches to how we are touched by kiddush. When we have small children around the table, we very often take on the role of “group leader”. The children are playing around us and can’t sit still for a minute – and we become obsessed with just making sure that there is quiet around the table. But in making sure the kids are quiet, we lose any menuchas hanefesh we might have felt. 

At home we had ten children sitting round the table – and believe me they were pretty active However, when I started saying kiddush I was not the group leader – there was a feeling that something important was being said – and they felt that message so they were usually quiet. It was not an act – it was something real which I was feeling and they felt it to. 

Perhaps we should look at kiddush from different angles – not as a peirush, but rather what it is we are actually doing. 

The first aspect which really should influence our approach to kiddush is that it is a form of eidus[2]. One is actually standing in front of the Borei Olam and giving testimony that He created the world! We are testifying that through Shabbos He brings Kedusha and Brocho into the world – וישבת…ויברך…. ויקדש. The Borei Olam does not need our testimony – but he wants our testimony. He wants us to be a part of His Shabbos. 

A Moshol

One could give a short moshol which might help us here. Let’s say one of the Gedoley Yisroel – Reb Shmuel Kamminetzky for example – is in trouble, and has been taken to court [ח”ו]. Someone must be a witness for the defense – and everything is dependent on his testimony. There is a goyishe Judge, and a jury – all goyim [mostly anti-Semites, because that is the world in which we live] and you have been chosen to stand witness for the defense. You know that they are not really interested in hearing you – you know that the chances are slim, but you are going to do it anyway. One would not take coming to the defense of one of the greatest men of the generation lightly. Kiddush is a far more serious event. You have been asked by the Borei Olam Himself to give testimony that He created the world – He is interested in listening to you. 

That should influence our approach to the mitzvah. We should take a moment to really think about what we are doing here. I am sure that if you do that, new insights will seem to appear – without much effort. Not peirushim – insights. Insights are exactly what they claim to be IN SIGHT – something in how I see things has changed. 

The difference between chidushei torah and chidushim in Tefillah

There is a big difference between chidushei torah and chidushim in Tefillah. With chidushei torah there can be an almost mathematical aspect – a certain deliberate logic, but with Tefillah the chiddush almost reaches out and hits you! This might happen when you start thinking more about kiddush. It could be that you will start thinking about how the Borei Olam rested – and yet the world did not cease to be. One might think of the implications of Shabbos. Instead of being a group leader one starts creating ones own particular environment which is how Kiddush “hits” you. 

In order to make a start one might want to ponder the following questions. 

We say in Kiddush אשר קדשנו במצותיו ורצה בנו. A completely different nusach for ברכת המצוות! We always say אשר קדשנו במצותיו וצונו – why the change? Then we find Shabbos being part of our inheritance – the heritage of Klal Yisroel הנחלתנו, what does that really mean?

Each person has to answer these questions for himself. These questions might be compared to a picture by Cezanne or Monet which reach out and touch you – forcing you to experience something. Making you live the unexpected! Someone else’s answers will limit you, each person has to experience his own kiddush. Each person has to experience his own Shabbos.

[1] ע’ דעת תבונות סימן כ”ד – ע’ דעת תבונות סימן כ”ד – “איבעית אימא סברא: הנשמה אינה אלא חלק אלוה ממעל, הנה אין תשוקתה ודאי אלא לשוב ולדבק במקורה ולהשיגו, כטבע כל עלול החושק לעילתו, ואין מנוחתה אלא כשתשיג את זה”. 

[2] ע’ או”ח סימן רע”א דברי המחבר “…ואומר ויכלו מעמד”. כותב שם המ”ב [ס”ק מ”ה] “שהוא עדות על בריאת שמים וארץ – ועדות בעינן מעומד”. 

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Written by Rabbi Mordechai Mays