Another World in Stressful Situations

Another World in Stressful Situations 

Introduction

We have already seen how we might experience a different world on Shabbos. How the simple act of eating challos can reveal a deeper world of bein odom lechaveiro. But that particular avoda is relatively easy when all is going according to plan. However, usually when it comes to experiencing menuchas Shabbos it is usually after a very hectic day or week. But even then we are still required to experience menuchas Shabbos, even after a week of almost unbearable stress, or chas vesholom tragedies or the like. It might even be things which threaten our whole world and leave us feeling helpless. And it is on that sort of background that Shabbos comes in and we are challenged to really experience menuchas Shabbos. So how are we supposed to do that? 

Emuna defines your connection to Klal Yisroel

Reb Yonason David Shlita once posed an interesting question which helps understand what emuna is really about. He asked – why is it that someone who is mechalel Shabbos has the din of a goy regarding pouring wine etc. but a person who is מלווה בריבית does not? A person who is מלווה בריבית is not zoche to תחיית המתים [1], so surely he should also have the din of a goy? It would seem that the mechalel Shabbos is treated rather harshly. 

So he explained that the reason that a mechalel Shabbos is similar to a goy, is that when he is mechalel Shabbos he destroys his status of a maamin. Shabbos is a day of emuna – it is a “maase emuna” an act of living emuna. If you don’t have emuna then essentially you have been כופר בכל התורה כולה – you have severed your connection with Klal Yisroel and thus you have the din of a goy in all sorts of situations.

Defining emuna

But we should clarify what emuna is really all about. Usually when we speak of emuna, we speak of how the bad things which have happened will actually turn out to be positive events in our lives – “גם זו לטובה”. However, it would seem that the Ramban defines emuna a bit differently.  

The Ramban writes on the posuk in Devorim“לא תנסו את ה’ אלהיכם”  where we are commanded not to test the Borei Olam – that one has to keep the mitzvos no matter what may be. One should never make keeping mitzvos conditional on whether or not things are going well or otherwise. And he concludes כי סוף הכבוד לבוא”” – which we understand as meaning simply, that everything will be all right in the end. 

The problem is that many times we say to ourselves that in the end things will work out in the way we think would be best. That means that if a rich person has lost money, it is considered an act of emuna if he believes he will be rich again. But that is not necessarily true. It could be he will only understand why losing his money (and the difficulties that come with that) was a positive thing, in Olam Habo.

Now this really is important, because as the Ramban explained, we are not allowed to say that only if all goes well we will daven, learn, and do mitzvos. So actually, we make a terrible mistake by understanding that emuna is dependent on the belief that what we think to be good will happen. Emuna is something else entirely. It is the understanding that all is for the good, even if throughout my life I will not be able to understand why it is good.  Emuna means taking into account another world – a completely different reality – which is way beyond my limited understanding. 

I know someone who has lived a life similar to Iyov – he has had financial problems, as well as health issues.  Not to mention that one of his children was in a car crash, and another had a brain tumor. Saying to him “גם זו לטובה” would be a terribly cruel thing to say to him. However, he can relate to the situation he is in only with the knowledge that things can be looked at differently. He certainly cannot understand why his life looks the way it does – but he has to understand that there is a different way of looking at his world. That is the first step of real emuna. 

How understanding emuna can help us experience Shabbos differently

Using this definition of emuna we perhaps can see Shabbos as a different world. We have already seen Shabbos as a different world through the eyes of kedusha, brocho and bein odom lechaveiro – but now perhaps we can see another aspect. 

Throughout the week, one might have experienced all sorts of difficulties, and we may well be worried about a whole host of different things. But when Shabbos arrives, we have to realize that all that we have been through is for the good – even though we have no idea what that good may be. We have to know that our lives are seen differently through the eyes of the Borei Olam, and it is certainly good for us. That is how one can start experiencing menuchas Shabbos, and that is another way of seeing Shabbos as mein olam habo. Because on Shabbos, understanding that my world can be viewed differently is actually meant to become tangible. That is what Reb Yonason meant when he said that Shabbos is a “maase emuna“.  We live a different reality for a whole day. 

Practical Avoda

But how do we work on our ability to realize that there is another way of looking at things? 

One of the most common interactions we have with people, is convincing someone else to think as we do. What we have to try to work on – if we really want to work on emuna – is to be in a situation where we think differently and try and accept that there is another way of looking at things. So perhaps the best place to begin is when we interact with our children. 

Certainly many will say that they have to educate their children – and that is certainly true… but you have to educate yourself too. If, for 5 minutes a day we try and see that our children also have their own point of view, that there is another world standing right there in front of you – and they see the world differently from the way you see it, you will only gain. 

It is very likely, that were we to see only part of the picture from the standpoint of the Borei Olam we would say that He too was wrong! We have to realize that in order to work on emuna, we have to be open to the idea that we do not know how things are meant to turn out. Furthermore, we have to be open to the possibility that the world can be seen differently from the way we see it at present. 

That is what we have to work on if we really want to experience Shabbos as an “act of emuna“. We have to be ready to understand that when Shabbos comes in – no matter where we are in our lives, the Borei Olam sees our reality differently, and we should feel that on Shabbos גם זו לטובה – not as we see things, but rather as the Borei Olam sees our world.

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[1] ע’ פרקי דר”א [פרק ל”ב ובנדמ”ח פרק ל”ג] וע’ סוטה ה. תד”ה כל “…ומלוי ברבית מצינו באגדה שאינן חיים לעולם הבא” וכן תוס’ בב”מ דף ע: ד”ה תשיך.  

[2] רמב”ן על התורה –  דברים ו ט”ז “לא תנסו את ה’ אלהיכם – פירוש כאשר נסיתם במסה. שלא תאמר אם יש ה’ בקרבנו לעשות לנו נסים או שנצליח בהיותנו עוברים לפניו ונשבע לחם ונהיה טובים נשמור תורתו כי הכוונה שם כך היתה שאם יראו שהשם יתן להם מים בנס מאתו ילכו אחריו במדבר ואם לא יעזבוהו ונחשב להם לעון גדול כי אחרי שנתאמת אצלם באותות ובמופתים כי משה נביא השם ודבר ה’ בפיהו אמת אין ראוי לעשות עוד שום דבר לנסיון והעושה כן איננו מנסה הנביא רק השם יתברך הוא מנסה לדעת היד ה’ תקצר ולכך אסר לדורות לנסות התורה או הנביאים כי אין ראוי לעבוד השם על דרך הסתפק או שאלת מופת ונסיון כי אין רצון השם לעשות נסים לכל אדם ובכל עת ואין ראוי לעבדו על מנת לקבל פרס אלא אולי ימצא בעבודתו ולכתו בדרכי התורה צער ואסון וראוי שיקבל הכל במשפט צדק ולא כאשר אמרו אוילי עמנו (מלאכי ג יד) וכי הלכנו קדורנית מפני ה’

ולכך אמר הכתוב בכאן שמור תשמרו מצותיו ועדותיו שהם הנסים שעשה לכם מכבר להיות לכם לעדות כגון הפסח והמצה והסוכה ותשמרו חקיו אע”פ שלא תדעו טעמם כי באמת ייטב לכם בסוף אין צורך לנסיון בתורה ובמצות אחרי שכבר נתאמת אצלכם שהוא מאתו יתברך וכן בכל דבר נביא המנוסה והמוחזק בנביא אמת באותות ובמופתים כדין התורה לא תנסו את דבריו בכל גמול ובכל עונש שיאמר לכם ולא תסתפקו ביכלתו יתעלה אבל האמינו בתורתו ותאמינו בנביאיו והצליחו והנה הבטיח כי סוף הכבוד לבוא בירושת הארץ ונצוח האויבים כי היא הטובה הגדולה והצריכה לאותו הדור ואחרי כן אמר כי גם לדורות הבאים אין צורך לנסיון בעשיית המצות אלא שישאלו מאבותיהם וזקניהם ויגידו להם אמתת התורה והמצות כאשר יפרש (פסוק כ) כי ישאלך בנך וגמר הפרשה”

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written by Rabbi Mordecahi Mays