How to Approach Avoda

14 – How to Approach Avoda

Introduction

Working on the topic of Shabbos is a really difficult project. In the history of Klal Yisroel there have been great people who dedicated their entire lives to working on understanding what Shabbos is really all about. Have a look at Reb Tzodok’s writings – they seem endless. However, as a conclusion to all we have spoken of and worked on, we should discuss something which is really connected to all aspects of avodas Hashem. And because Purim is coming up perhaps we will connect these ideas more specifically to Purim. 

Different approaches to avodas Hashem

There are many different approaches in avodas Hashem. The classic approach is where we try to find a new “tool” – a kabbolo, some new idea or method which will enhance our davening, or the way we learn or how we put on tefillin for example. Certainly there is nothing wrong with this approach – we are definitely obliged to try and improve ourselves. 

However, there is another approach – and that is how the Mashgiach educated his talmidim – and that is what I try to do when I say a vaad. The Mashgiach put the focus inwards. How does each person as an individual see tfila, or Shabbos, or whatever area of avodas Hashem it is we are discussing. He wanted us to try and recognize some koach which until this point may have never been actualized – and try and work with it. Putting the focus on the person rather than on the kabbolo means that there will be a kabbolo, but it also means that the kabbolo will differ from person to person.   

Perhaps we can give an example. We saw that Shabbos is a different world. We also found that because it is a different world we have to listen to how we react and experience a different reality. We had to look inwards. People are not used to doing that. Very often they complain that it is too abstract to work in this fashion – and maybe to some degree they are correct. Maybe times have changed and I have to change as well, but I really do not want to lose that special aspect of Avoda – the “individual ingredient”. 

Reb Yisroel and his focus on mussar

What we are discussing is actually that which forced Reb Yisroel to really put a focus on mussar.  He discusses [1] how Yerovom Ben Nevot went to rebuke Shlomo Hamelech when he married the daughter of Pharoah. By undermining the authority of the king he was actually risking his life – for this act was defined as mored bemalchus. However, we find that because of this one act he became king over ten of the tribes. Yerovom was certainly a great man – he learned and was mechadesh with Achiya Hashiloni. However, the same reward was actually his punishment – for the Borei Olam gave him a taste of what it felt like to rule people – and it is that which destroyed him. So the question that Reb Yisroel asks is what should he have done? Rebuking Shlomo Hemelech was definitely the correct thing to do – Yerovom was rewarded, and yet at the same time his reward was his downfall. The answer that Reb Yisroel gives is that he should have looked at what level he was really on. If he had done that, he would have rebuked him differently. He should have looked within. There was no way he could have prepared himself prior to the event. He could not “practice” telling Shlomo Hamelech where he had gone wrong. He had one chance to do what he had to do – and to do it right. He was a great person, but it had to start from looking within – how would being a king affect him, and how difficult it would be to withstand certain nisyonos. 

The goal of the Vaadim on Shabbos

That is what we have been trying to do with the Vaadim on Shabbos. It has been difficult – because as we repeatedly mentioned Shabbos comes only once a week, so one is limited to only one day when you can actually work on the topic of Shabbos. Furthermore, generally speaking, the rule of thumb is that you should choose an area of avoda which is already a daily part of your life – not just once a week. You have to be quite an extraordinary person to succeed in making a weekly event a continuous avoda – because practically speaking there is a six-day break between every Shabbos!  

It’s similar to a bochur coming to ask advice on the topic of gayva after having read in Rabbeinu Yona what a terrible thing gayva is. Gayva is not really a problem when you are a bochur, it really comes up later on in life, when you have a family or you have to deal with a Tzibur. To deal with Gayva as a bochur makes no sense if there is nothing which comes up with any regularity.  

The problem of looking within

There is however a tremendous problem, that when people start looking at themselves, when they really start to delve deep inside, they only find negative things to talk about. They may even find that talking of a particular avoda causes them to rebel – they suddenly start thinking: “I don’t want to have to do that“. When you look at yourself, you should be looking to find where you actually are connected to avoda – where you actually do have an affinity for Shabbos or Tfillin or any mida you care to mention. 

Part of the problem is that people are not used to thinking about their successes. They do not analyze why they reached a particular goal, because they think there is no point. They succeeded, and that’s the end of the story. So they only look at their failures – and they become disheartened because they assume that they cannot really do anything in that particular area – they feel they are not connected to the subject. That is dangerous and destructive. One has to realise that you too have kochos which must be realized, and which can bear fruit – and here we perhaps can see a connection to Purim. 

Learning from Purim

Purim is about how each and every one of us, at the most basic level, is connected to the Borei Olam and the entire Torah. One becomes drunk – which really reduces each of us to a most base level. But it is on that most basic level that each and every one of us is connected to Torah. Rashi says that they wanted to receive the Torah again at the time of Purim because of chavivus haneis [2]. What great miracle is Rashi talking about? There was nothing to compare with the incredible events which took place in Egypt – no blood, no frogs, no lice. So what great miracle is Rashi hinting at? The miracle was that history itself is guided by the Borei Olam – and at its simplest level the plan of the Borei Olam and his connection to Klal Yisroel will always reveal itself throughout history. 

That is what we have to do when we look at ourselves and our avodas Hashem. The Borei Olam is connected to us – but we are also connected to Him. We have to see where we are also personally connected at some level to Tfila and Shabbos or whatever it is we are trying to work on. That is what I learned from the Mashgiach – that Mussar is not only a search to find where I am lacking and to see how terrible I am. It’s not that Reb Yisroel was a good Litvak who got a kick out of punishing himself. Reb Yisroel wanted you to find where you are connected to the world of avoda. Once you have that starting point – then you can work, then you can start to grow. But if all you find is how you have no connection – how can you even begin to work?   

That was a most basic demand of the Mashgiach from his talmidim. I once had a chiddush connected to mussar, and I was really happy with it – it was really deep. So I told the Mashgiach. I know he liked it – but he said “that’s a great beginning – now you can start to work”. I thought I had reached the end of the line, that I had reached the peak of the mountain. The Mashgiach was showing me that I had only just begun. That was real chinuch. 

Nowadays we have to give a compliment when we hear a chiddush from someone else [3]. I know it is important to give a compliment, but very often you give a compliment to someone and then they stop thinking. He feels he has reached his goal, and he forgets there is so much more. So you have to recognize the importance of what they have said – while still giving them room to strive and grow. Continued growth and change is part of being alive. The cells of your body are also continuously changing – that is part of the definition of life. What the Mashgiach did to me then may not be the sort of chinuch which works today, because it hurts too much. But the message is the same. We have to always look within. We have to see where we are connected to avoda – in order to find where we can move forward, in order to find where we can grow.   

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[1] ע’ אור ישראל במאמר עץ פרי – 

“והנה בהתוכחה שהוכיח ירבעם את שלמה הי’ ירבעם בסכנה אף כי אי’ במדרש שם הכניס אלף משבטו והכיחו [א”ה בילקוט הגי’ פ’ אלף ע”ש בהגהותו] עכ”ז הי’ בהענין סכנות נפשות אשר ע”פ דין משום מצות תוכחה אין למסור נפשו עבורה אמנם לפעמים יעשה חסיד מפעל כזה מקנאת חסידותו ובהתפעלות הנפש כאשר יראה מעשים למרות רצון קונו תתלהב נפשו למחות בעוברי עבירה וישכח הסכנה אשר לנגד עיניו עי”ז אך התפעלות כזה לא תוכל לבא באיש אשר ידע בנפשו כי גם הוא איננו צדיק ותוכחתו יהי’ עליו עון אשר גם הוא איננו נקי ואיך יכול להוכיח את חבירו ולכן כאשר ירבעם לא הי’ טוב בפנימיותו כמ”ש לעיל לכן יחשוב המדרש לו לחוב על אשר הוכיחו אף כי בעצם התוכחה הי’ זכות. והמאמרים אינם סותרים כי מדתו של הקב”ה שבמקום שדנין את האדם שם מזכירין גם צדקותיו כמבואר (ביבמות עח ע”ב) קא תבע אל שאול שלא נספד כהלכה וקא תבע על אשר המית הגבעונים אין דאר”ל מ”ד כו’ אשר משפטו פעלו באשר משפטו שם פעלו ופרש”י במקום שדנים האדם שם מזכירין פועל צדקותיו ע”ש ולפ”ז אם יעשה אדם דבר אחד אשר ע”י החיצוניות הוא טוב וע”י הפנימיות איננו טוב מענישים על הרע הנמצא בזה ונותנים שכר על הטוב וכאשר בירבעם נמצאו שתי אלה כמו שבארנו לכן ע”י זכות התוכחה שבאה מן החיצוניות זכה למלכות ויבואר זאת במקרא כדבר אפרים רתת שהוא התוכחה לשלמה כמבואר במדרש שם זכה בזה כי נשא הוא בישראל וזכה למלוכה אבל יען הי’ אצלו כ”כ התפעלות הנפש עד אשר לא הביט אל פנימיותו איך גם הוא איננו נקי וגם לא ראה לתקן את הפנימיות שלו לטוב גרמה לו הסיבה מהנשיאות שלו לעורר את רוע הפנימיות לעלות ולהתגבר על החיצוניות להפכם לרע עד כי בא לידי “ויאשם בבעל וגו'”. 

[2] ע’ שבת דף פ”ח. “…אעפ”כ הדור קבלוה בימי אחשורוש דכתיב דימו וקבלו היהודים קיימו מה שקבלו כבר”. וע’ שם רש”י ד”ה בימי “מאהבת הנס שנעשה להם”.

[3] ע’ אור ישראל מכתב א’ לגבי איך לשמוע דברי מוסר ויראת ה’.

 

written by Rabbi Mordechai Mays