Consciously Aligning with Hashem’s Will – Yireh is a Constructive Force

Consciously Aligning with Hashem’s Will – Yireh is a Constructive Force

We are now poised to delve into the profound topics of Tayveh and Yiras Shomayim, topics that carry with them considerable gravity and are fraught with risks. It is imperative that we first establish a fundamental hakdomeh. This introduction is crucial and intricately connected to our overall purpose in this va’ad. We must ask ourselves: What are we undertaking in this va’ad? What is its essence?

There is, in fact, something unique taking place within this va’ad, and it’s essential to understand that, as it is highly relevant. A notable aspect is the transparency and candor with which I address the tzibur – the courage to say outright what many think but are hesitant to express.

Take, for instance, a silly question we have discussed previously but is seldom asked. What thoughts cross your mind on Rosh Hashanah, while pausing before Krias Shema? When I say that you ponder and acknowledge the discomfort of being the initiator, it provokes laughter because it’s a common thought, albeit one that’s rarely admitted. This is indicative of the dynamics at work here.

This frankness sometimes places me in a bind. Saying things that don’t always sound ‘100% religious,’ or as if they’ve been lifted straight from a sefer, on the one hand, is what makes these dialogues compelling. Merely parroting texts would yield nothing, for the seforim themselves are accessible to all. But on the other hand, there is a big risk in that. The challenge lies in navigating this approach responsibly while remaining authentic and loyal to the tenets of Torah.

The key, which is indeed a chiddush, is that it never occured to me that things won’t turn out the way the Torah says. The problem arises when you entertain the possibility that outcomes could deviate from the Torah. If I harbored such doubts, I wouldn’t commence these va’adim, for that would be madness.

This unwavering emuneh was ingrained in us by the Mashgiach, who fervently championed the certainty of the Torah’s outcomes. Such assurance grants us the freedom to personally relate to its teachings, knowing that ultimately you will meet and align with the Torah. Without this inner strength and conviction – this t’mimus – you must not entertain the Yetzer Horeh’s logic, as it will lead you astray.

However, it is essential to occasionally approach matters from the perspective one might associate with the Yetzer Horeh. Not, chas v’shalom, to succumb to its enticements, but rather to understand the real-life struggles that we grapple with every day. In our va’ad, we don’t shy away from topics that may seem at odds with the idealistic depictions found in seforim; we confront and discuss these challenges openly, recognizing the situations that some prefer to ignore or deny despite the discomfort it causes.

This approach is not without its perils, as it may bring us face to face with aspects of our nature that are not always in harmony with Torah. Nevertheless, exploring such matters is crucial to addressing the true experiences of people. This approach is what draws people to our va’ad – they come seeking recognition of their actual state and not solely where they are expected to be. Our goal is to work from our current realities toward authentic spiritual growth.

We see that In Parshas Shelach, where Kalev stepped forth, and his words resounded with a seemingly sharp edge: “Is this the only deed of Ben Amram?” To refer to Moshe Rabbeinu as merely “the son of Amram” signifies a severe level of disrespect, bordering on rishous.

erhaps, without having a relationship with a rebbe, the gravity of such disrespect may not be clear. However, For those of us with a rebbe, the sheer thought of diminishing Moshe Rabbeinu in such a manner would be unfathomable, never even to cross our minds.

Kalev was no rosheh. It must be that he was so steadfast and resolute in his convictions that he was able to understand and even articulate the perspective of the resho’im without being influenced. That is why they believed he was allied with them. 

At times, we too must think like and communicate with our inner rosheh – the Yetzer Horeh – not to empathize or agree but to truly address it. This is a hazardous path, and seemingly deeper engagement with Torah is the safer path. However, when seeking to foster authentic growth in Avoidas Hashem, we need to ‘speak the language’ of the Yetzer Horeh – if we don’t want our words to fall on deaf ears, as we have seen by Kalev and the Meraglim.

It may appear that Kalev’s tactic was mere cleverness, a ruse. The deeper understanding, however, is that the people believed him not because of his cunning, rather they couldn’t fathom anyone in Klal Yisroel would be Mechane Shem to Moshe Rabbeinu unless he was truly a rosheh. 

Kalev’s strength and clarity allowed him to speak as if from their perspective, knowing inside it bore no influence on his personal emuneh. Your own conviction and integrity too will afford you the ability to entertain the thoughts of the reshoim, knowing that your essence remains untainted because you are grounded in the truth of Torah.

I think this is a point that some misunderstand. If one believes we discuss here original ideas that go against the traditional path, they have missed the entire purpose of the va’ad. My unwavering belief stays true to the teachings of our gedolim, with t’mimus and sincerity. Those who know me can attest to my straightforward nature, despite any bemusement it may evoke.

Tell me a troubling story about another, and I will hear it in its simplicity – not as a veiled narrative concerning yourself but at face value. I do not engage in clever games of deception or seek to uncover ulterior motives. This may surprise you, but I hate chess precisely for that reason, as I find cunning mental gymnastics extremely boring. However, do not mistake my straightforwardness for naivete; my memory serves to piece together the truth revealed through your every word and action.

I admit to having been overly credulous in the past, taking incomplete narratives as comprehensive truths. Others have questioned my understanding, suggesting that I’ve missed undercurrents of deception. Yet, I won’t indulge in such speculation; it is not my nature. Though it may appear naive to some, the reality is my simplicity is rooted in an unshakable conviction and profound clarity of what Torah and Chazal teach-this is my strength. I assess the Yetzer Horeh candidly, not with fear, rather with confidence that the truth is as it is presented by Torah and Chazal. 

Interestingly, some of the most illuminating insights of seeing emuneh in nature come from unlikely sources; literature on topics typically avoided in our circles. The subject of evolution provides such an example, where I simply redact the term ‘evolution’ and discover therein the most excellent illustrations of emuneh. The books that some praise as testimonies to evolution, for me are testimonials to emuneh.

It is because of this tmimus that the topic of the world’s age and the supposed contradictions do not bother me in the slightest. The idea behind C-14 dating, which is used by scientists to estimate the age of formerly living material, is not something I challenge as a mere bluff; yet my belief stands firmly with what the Torah says. Such questions are just inconsequential when placed against the backdrop of our Avodas Hashem. My primary concern lies in living aligned with the Torah’s eternal chochmeh, not in pondering the undetectable history of physical creation.

I think this is what R’ Yisroel [Michtav 4] means when he discusses the chochmas ha’olam, which we have already mentioned previously is very dangerous. Engaging with our tayves – our desires – is inherently fraught with danger. Yet Rabbi Yisroel writes:

 אִם הַתְּמִימוּת תִּהְיֶה חֲזָקָה לְבַל יִמּוֹטוּ רַגְלֵינוּ, מַה טּוֹב אִם נִשְׁתַּמֵּשׁ בְּדַרְכֵי ה’ בְּאֵלּוּ הַדְּבָרִים. 

“If our t’mimus is strong enough to ensure our feet do not falter, how good would it be to employ these matters for service of Hashem.”

There lies the profound concept that we should contemplate how to harness gaiveh (pride or arrogance) – ordinarily an attribute that distances one from Torah-to further one’s Avoidas Hashem. This approach must be anchored in t’mimus – a resolute commitment of completely aligning with what the Torah wants-whether in learning, tefillah, bein adam le’chaveiro, or chesed for example. Only then we can explore alternative koyches without them swaying us, because we are certain we will ultimately reach and align with the Torah. Otherwise, it is treacherous terrain.

That’s the reason I laid down this introduction – to put to rest the worries some have regarding my approach. They’re under this impression that what I’m saying is some kind of rebellion against the Torah, like I want to create a ‘New Judaism’ or something like that. This is utterly baseless, and couldn’t be further from the truth. It’s puzzled me till now, why they’d even think that way. 

It’s because I don’t shy away from talking straight about the Yetzer Horeh, for I am sure that it will ultimately be exactly the way Torah says. Yet, there lingers a fear in the hearts of some; a fear that by even just voicing such matters, we may sanction thoughts aligned with the Yetzer Horeh, inadvertently leading people astray. That is why we must have firm t’mimus to think as the Reshoim do – just as Kalev did-and still remain anchored in Torah.

We find ourselves now at a critical juncture in our Avodas Hashem, as we grapple with the challenges of tayveh. Engaging with tayveh is fraught with inherent peril, for in doing so, we enter a world teeming with potential downfall – a veritable תהום של רע. This significant matter warrants deliberate avoideh, for tayveh possesses a contagious nature that can, without steadfast determination, derail our ruchniyus. Therein lies the importance of establishing a chiyuv-driven mehalech – an obligation-centric approach to overpower these urges – a concept we will delve into further.

Now, let us expound on how Tayveh and Yireh stand as directly opposed koyches. The Mesilas Yeshorim teaches us the posuk “הן יראת השם היא חכמה” means that Chochmeh – wisdom – means Yiras Shomayim alone; nothing else. What does this truly signify?

Typically, Yireh is viewed as the koyech of binyen, the constructive force within a person. Through Yireh, we build ourselves in accordance with a will that transcends our own – the rotzen of the Borei Olam. This is the essence of construction; the alignment with a will that is extrinsic to our natural tendencies, distinguishing itself from growth of an internal, self-generated nature.

Yireh molds us in this way, guiding us to build from where we stand, reflecting the desire of the Borei Olam. It is this quality of building – of creating shayches, relating to Hashem’s will, advancing step by step, recognizing our obligation in taking these steps – that defines Yireh. 

As the posuk says, “בחכמה יבנה בית – through wisdom, a house is built.” Chochmah is this constructive force, this compelling adherence to another’s will. This is the intrinsic nature of Yireh, this aspect within us that erects our spiritual structure. It doesn’t merely promote growth, rather intentional construction as to relate to the divine will.

In stark contrast, Tayveh is centered upon self-service, upon one’s own rotzen. It is no coincidence that the Rishonim use the term Tayveh to occasionally describe רצון – for Tayveh is an emphasis of one’s personal desires. Tayveh is the impetus for growth, though such growth is untamed and unrestrained, not structured and constructive. It is the craving that is never satisfied, the relentless pursuit of more – the embodiment of משביעו רעב.

R’ Issac Chover teaches that Tayveh begins to manifest forty days after יצירת הולד, shaping the innate desire for sustenance. Thus, we see that Tayves A’chilleh is not merely the craving of sweets and pleasure, rather the constant urge for more – this endless pursuit to consume, which drives the physical growth of an infant’s growth within the womb. 

Growing is the only thing an unborn baby does. In contrast, Yireh is absent in the womb, for it stems from conscious choice, from an intentional and deliberate alignment with Hashem’s will – it constructs, it does not merely expand.

As we delve into the formidable force of Tayveh, let us consider a vivid example which the Mashgiach enjoyed immensely, albeit one commonly overlooked. When a rabbi, like myself, adorned in my finest suit and hat, arrives at your home, exhibiting great propriety before suddenly leaning towards the bowl and devouring the soup in an unrefined manner, it would likely be the final invitation I’d receive from you. It is widely accepted, both within halacha and the teachings of mussar, that one should raise food to their mouth rather than lowering themselves to it.

Yet even when the food is brought to one’s lips, if, in that final moment, one eagerly opens wide, the essence of Tayves A’chilleh is revealed, mirroring the act of devouring the soup. Such behavior can be excused as precautions against getting dirty, but in truth, those are but an excuse not to delve into the deeper struggle with the Yetzer and one’s own כוחות הנפש. It is all too easy to dismiss these habits as trivial – מיעוט בטל ברוב – yet these seemingly inconsequential acts carry with them profound significance, shaping the very nature of our relationship to food. The tayveh dominates, rendering everything else secondary.

Fighting this tayveh head on, opening your mouth only when and how it is truly needed, is ill advised. One should not underestimate the immense internal forces at play. To face them head on could lead to overwhelming psychological pressure or worse. Such forces are simply too potent to confront directly, It’s just not shayech.

The laughter that is evoked when I depict Tayves A’chilleh in such a way acknowledges a recognition of the deeper truth – that even the small act of opening one’s mouth wide has far-reaching implications. Despite our attempts to downplay these truths, the nature of Tayves A’chilleh remains steadfast and unchanged. This is precisely why we must learn to understand and think like the Yetzer Horeh, to recognize the roots of our actions and their origins.

This brings to light another aspect of Tayves A’chilleh demonstrated by the practice of תענית הראב”ד. Here, the idea of leaving a morsel of food uneaten challenges the very fabric of Tayveh, which drives one to consume until nothing is left. The example I offer may seem humorous, but it is rooted in truth – the all too familiar experience of being interrupted while eating an apple, with one final bite remaining. You answer the phone and engage in conversation for a quarter of an hour. When you hang up, the realization dawns upon you that the unfinished apple – and the Tayves A’chilleh – still lingers, undiminished by time or actions, awaiting completion. Herein lies the fundamental struggle that the Ta’anis Haraved reveals: resisting the imperative to finish every last bite. It is a head-on battle against Tayves A’chilleh’s hold.

Sometimes I have this feeling that perhaps I’m the only one with problems. But I’m not afraid to share these thoughts, and the laughter they evoke is not directed at me, but at the self-recognition elicited. Therein lies a potent truth: this struggle is universal, and yet there is often reluctance to confront or acknowledge it. Recognition might bring laughter, a shield against the discomfort of seeing oneself mirrored in these examples. However, one must be brave enough to examine these urges – this jungle that is Tayves A’chilleh – with an unflinching gaze.

To counteract Tayves A’chilleh, many believe the only solution is to exercise a ‘diet’ or continuous self-restraint – a mistake I seek to correct. Tayveh serves a vital purpose in our world. After all, “אלמלא יצר הרע אין אדם בונה בית” – without tayveh, the world would not function. So the core issue is not tayveh itself, but its intrinsic nature is to go over limits and boundaries as we have seen; simply deciding to restrain yourself will not work – as the Tayveh is more powerful than your decision. 

Therefore, I believe the only way to limit the tayveh is to create a mehalech that harnesses it. I think it’s best to begin with contemplating the very purpose of eating. Most individuals consume food multiple times a day without pause for introspection. Yet, have we ever pondered why the Borei Olam necessitates this act of eating? Why didn’t Hashem endow us with an inherent energy akin to a wind-up toy, devoid of the need for nourishment? We could be like a puppet, born with a wind-up of 70 years that slowly goes off every year. If you do an aveira, you lose a few years. If you do t’shuvah, you wind it up again. I think that’s a great idea!

Some might hastily answer that we eat to recite brochos – as mentioned in the seforim – but the Medrash by the Hachnoses Orchim of Avraham Avinu alludes to a more profound purpose – one that constructs and shapes us, beyond mere pleasure or enjoyment as one would naturally assume. What exactly does food build within us? Is it solely our physicality, or does it extend to our nefesh as well? What was Hashem’s intention in embedding the necessity for nutrition within the human condition?

The fact that we do not frequently contemplate such questions indicates a profound detachment from the very actions that define our daily lives, just because they occur naturally. Without a determined mehalech towards eating, we cannot construct ourselves in alignment with another’s will – specifically, the will of the Borei Olam. Our sole focus on personal desire, personal tayveh, obscures this crucial understanding.

Reflecting on my youth, during my service in the Swiss army, I was the lone Jew amidst a sea of non-Jews. It wasn’t long before they proclaimed they understood the Jews have a custom to sanctify bread before consumption. My explanations did little to sway their convictions until it dawned on me that their perception stemmed from the manner in which I recited the brocheh over bread, holding it before my mouth as I murmured the blessing. To the onlooker, it seemed as though I was speaking to the bread itself. Had I held the bread lower, closed my eyes, and recited the brocheh slowly and calmly, even they would have discerned that my words were directed to Hashem, not at the food.

But what is the reason we act in such a manner? It is the influence of Tayves A’chilleh, which resists any delay before consumption – there shouldn’t be a ‘hefsek’ chas ve’sholom between the brocheh and eating. This realization was striking to me even at the age of nineteen and reflects the gravity of the world ruled by Tayveh in general.

Tayves A’chilleh itself is a deeply ingrained force, whether by birth or, according to R’ Isaac Chover, perhaps even before that. Yet, seldom do we contemplate the rationale behind its existence. Is it a mere nisoyon from Hashem? Certainly not. Tayveh holds intrinsic value, a mehalech – a purpose. When we discern its aim, we begin to understand how it contributes to our building. This revelation then reintegrates the force of Tayveh back into Yiras Shomayim, although we must tread carefully with t’mimus – sincerity and conviction, ensuring we align with Hashem’s intent.

To illustrate this danger, let’s say the the Tayves A’chilleh is intended for us to genuinely savor the goodness of Hashem – טעמו וראו כי טוב השם. After enjoying a wholesome meal, the urge for dessert, say a delicious ice cream, may arise. And one might declare, טעמו וראו כי טוב השם, as if longing for ice cream is a sublime yearning.

But let’s be truthful. This craving is propelled solely by the Tayves A’chilleh. It’s because it is so geshmak to have ice cream now. You might even deceive yourself with justifications, even citing the Gemoreh where Abaye speaks of מיני מתיקה causing one to eat even the plate, implying an allowance for such indulgences.

This, indeed, is a treacherous path, one that can transform an individual into a veritable Ba’al Tayveh. Without prior t’mimus we risk succumbing to Tayveh’s might. We tread upon a field strewn with hidden mines; an inadvertent step can have catastrophic consequences. Without prior t’mimus, we risk succumbing to Tayveh’s might. Without inner spiritual resilience before entering this domain, one cannot hope to emerge unscathed. Nevertheless, we must make the attempt.

Thus concludes merely the introduction – the hakdomeh. We stand at the threshold of this critical topic. I encourage you to explore and reflect: How might we navigate this terrain? Give thought to transforming Tayves A’chilleh or your own desire into something greater – into an expression not solely of personal will, but of a higher rotzen.

This is not about an external rotzen interfering with your own desire but rather about the tayveh itself unveiling an intrinsic, deeper rotzen that is external to you. Consider that within your appetite for food, there exists another rotzen – Rotzen Hashem. It is His intent that we must discern and pursue lest we use Yiras Shomayim incorrectly.

It is crucial to recognize that we are not pitting our obligations to overpower our tayvehs. The challenge is to recognize that within tayveh there is an embedded directive from the Borei Olam. Why are your actions devoid of the Borei Olam’s intent? Hashem’s will is interwoven there, not just our own.

How do we shift our focus to more readily pursue the Rotzen Hashem in this realm, over and above our own rotzen? This is the enigma we seek to address – the true confrontation between Yiras Shomayim and Tayveh. It is like a collision of worlds; the will of Hashem and our individual desires are set on a collision path. It is this dynamic that we must carefully navigate.