The World is not Your Playground

The World is not Your Playground

When thinking about Yiras Shomayim, we naturally connect it to Kiyum Torah u’Mitzvos; to what we have to do, our obligations. And yet, our interaction with the world doesn’t always fit neatly within clearly-defined mitzvos, leaving us without a measuring stick to ascertain whether we are okay or not. The process is far more subjective, reliant on individual self-assessment. This raises a big question: how can we approach our life itself with Yiras Shomayim? 

Now be careful. It is wrong to base our approach predominantly on learning, and Yiras Shomayim being there only to keep it up. Reality dictates that you will have responsibilities beyond the realm of learning, irrespective of your role; these tasks don’t come with a precise geder established by Halacha. Consider the nuanced challenges in delivering a shiur, counseling someone facing nisyonos, or the countless decisions we face in daily life. 

A doctor, for example, must navigate every patient he treats, every prescription he writes – with a heightened sense of Yiras Shomayim; a reality that extends to all professional engagements. Frankly, even roles such as a Mashgiach or a Rosh Yeshiva are professional in nature. There is a lack of explicit guidelines for every single aspect, so it’s imperative to approach them with Yiras Shomayim.

It’s an awkward notion to equate Yiras Shomayim with Kvius Itim (fixed times for learning Torah). Rather, we must discover how to apply Yiras Shomayim to our worldly interactions themselves; certainly we must always strive for Yiras Shomayim, but here the very essence of engaging with the world around us necessitates it.

The fact is that you will have relationships and contact with others – a real test of your middos. Sure, there may not be clear-cut mitzvos in social interactions, but there are definitely middos to work on – savlones (patience) or chesed, for example.

To our amazement, if we just go with the flow and let the world run its course, the middos that tend to rise to the surface are the less desirable ones. Human nature is complex, and perhaps our appreciation for finer middos isn’t as keen as it ought to be; but rarely do we see someone become a ba’al chesed without intentional avoideh. Wherever you look around in the world, when people are left to their own devices, then their interactions are dominated by the not-so-pleasent middos, such as tacharus, kineh, and kovod.

What is the cause of that? What is the key for the good middos to surface? Yiras Shomayim – that is the key. Avrohom Avinu said that about the people of Plishtim: רק אין יראת אלוקים במקום הזה והרגוני 

When they saw Soroh Imeinu, their bad middos took over. It wasn’t specifically about outright aveiros; rather about tayves noshim and other bad middos. Yiras Elokim in this context doesn’t mean commitment to the Shulchan Oruch – that was not the issue back then; rather it is the thing that when absent all the wrong middos will crop up.

Therefore, it’s not merely a desirable trait; it is a critical necessity to bring Yiras Shomayim into every facet of our engagement with the world. Without it, we are bound to encounter the same pitfalls evident by what happened to Soroh Imeinu; for in the absence of Yiras Elokim, the atrocious elements of our character will come to the fore and define us.

I’m not here to decry that we are as bad as Avimelech or that Sdom Ve’Amora look tame next to us; rather that our reality reflects this on a smaller scale, and we must face the fact that as long as Yiras Shomayim is absent – bad middos will keep coming up. 

Now, the geder of Yiras Shomayim when engaging with a chiyuv is clear. Take learning for example; one must learn in a way that the Chochmas Haborei can manifest itself, as we’ve previously seen. Or with mitzvos such as putting on tzitzis or donning t’fillin, you have to be mekayem it as the halachah instructs; without machshoveh zoreh or thinking about other things – and that takes Yiras Shomayim. 

But when it comes to the day-to-day stuff, the regular things in the world, it seems you could just go with the flow and do whatever comes to mind. I think it’s pretty clear that’s not a real option. Therefore, we must define the geder of Yiras Shomayim when addressing matters bereft of explicit halachah or concrete chiyuvim.

Bad middos and negios skew one’s perspective, fooling you into believing that the world is your “playground”; your involvement in the world, your interactions with others, are just for you – what you get out of it, whether pleasure or personal benefit. This self-centered delusion when you fall under the spell of the middos ro’es.

The essence of Yiras Shamayim, as we’ve discussed previously, necessitates a recognition of something greater, something beyond ourselves, revealing itself in our lives. In terms of our engagement with the world, this understanding is fundamental. To your amazement, our role in the world extends far beyond our individual domain – it’s certainly not our ‘backyard’.

This is a deep thing. In the realm of mitzvos, it is very evident that we are dealing with something beyond ourselves. One cannot whimsically decide to place the tefillin shel yad upon the head, thinking it somehow better. Halacha expressly instructs us where to put it on, illustrating that mitzvos are not subject to personal discretion. Here, one’s negios have little sway.

But when it comes to involvement in the world, it’s not as clear why we shouldn’t proceed as we please. Recall how Anshei Avimelech’s attitude towards Soreh Imeinu was one of proprietary entitlement; or Pharaoh’s same mistaken notion. In both cases, they viewed the world solely through the lens of personal gain.

That’s where Yiras Shomayim comes in; The world is not your private playground – that is the basis of Yiras Shamayim. Our lives must reveal that there is something higher going on. This realization is the pleasent avoidah that bein hazmanim was meant for. No need for weird or extraordinary measures; rather, in your existing activities and trips, seek connection to Torah and new insights.

The Mashgiach once told me that a trip taken during bein hazmanim, devoid of any novel Torah insight – be it related to nature, human interactions, or otherwise – is worthless, a real bitul torah. It will destroy you, for it reinforces the delusion that the world exists for our personal gratification.

Consider the events that unfold during bein hazmanim in Eretz Yisrael. There’s a tendency to label these times when there is no learning in yeshiva as zman puranus, a perilous period, where one should refrain from frivolously traveling. The absence of the Zchus Ha’Torah leaves us unprotected – a sentiment echoed once in a while in the newspapers, especially when catastrophes happen.

I have another take on that: רק אין יראת אלוקים במקום הזה על כן יהרגו אותו… Some bochurim treat the world as their own realm of pleasure, recklessly venturing into the desert in Shabbos shoes, without water or anything else. Their actions, lacking Yiras Shomayim, disregard the world’s true nature, as if the world is there just for their pleasure.

It might be a harsh illustration, but it’s true; treat the world like your playground and eventually you’re bound to run into trouble. If you go offroad in a quad bike, don’t be surprised when you fall off a cliff; seeking excitement and fun, taking on risky and dangerous escapades ill-equipped – what else do you expect? The world is not your personal playground for selfish enjoyment.

Bein hazmanim is neither for relaxing by lounging around or getting out the energy by seeking thrills; heeding this outlook as the purpose of bein hazmanim is a grave mistake – it will destroy you, as you’re reinforcing the illusion of the middos ro’es, the idea that “the world is mine to do as I please.” 

The world is not your backyard. When you absorb this truth, you’ll find the door to good midos swings open. It suddenly becomes a pleasure to engage in chesed, to take responsibility – these things are no longer burdens but sources of true enjoyment and fulfillment.

But if you view everything as just your backyard, then being responsible or engaging in chesed seems pointless. “It’s my turf,” so the thinking goes, “I’ll do what I want. Why bother with chesed?” It all seems like too much effort. However, when you shake off that self-centeredness, you’ll discover that good middos and positive traits will flourish. That’s when bein hazmanim becomes a time of true avoideh and growth.

The key to this perspective is Yiras Shomayim in the most basic sense: an awe-based approach to the world around us. When traveling or experiencing something new, it’s not just about enjoying yourself – it’s about being mispoel; the focus shifts from personal pleasure to a profound awe and appreciation for the greater context in which we exist – an essential Jewish outlook.

When you manage to move beyond this egocentric outlook and accept the truth that life is a grander endeavor, you’ve taken a substantial step in cultivating a comprehensive Yiras Shamayim. Such growth will aid you throughout life far greater than anything else, as life inherently involves interacting with the world, even to those engaged in Torah’dig positions. 

Marriage is a prime example – it often surprises with its demand for cooperation. Similarly, in business or any collaborative effort – in Yeshiva or community work – working with others is inescapable. The problem is that many people get stuck thinking, “my way or the highway,” particularly in personal and professional life.

Understanding that interaction with the world is an encounter with something greater than ourselves is crucial; It encourages the humility to realize that there’s more to life than your personal desires. That’s the essence of Yiras Shomayim; the acknowledgement of being a part of something grander, more majestic than our own immediate aims and desires. Embracing this mindset fosters growth and understanding beyond our limited self.

Someone once approached me, and through his tale, one begins to grasp the profound depth of Yiras Shomayim required in our life. He shared his struggle with Emunas Chachomim; I nearly quipped that perhaps he ought to have presented his query in Bnei Brak or somewhere like that. Nonetheless, he described how he, alongside a group of people, posed a question to a few Rabbonim.

The response they received literally screamed out their sheer disinterest. The Rabbonim failed to delve into the matter or to lend an attentive ear to the question at hand. They seemed indifferent and disengaged, offering a half-hearted, seemingly preformulated answer that resulted in disastrous consequences.

The man, who had revered this as Daas Torah, was left utterly disillusioned. And here he was, sharing it with me – though I could hardly contain my own discontent upon hearing his ordeal. The Mashgiach instilled in us a critical lesson: To embody Yiras Shomayim means treating every question – no matter how small or who it comes from – with utmost respect, regardless of appearance or intellect.

Often, people chide me for my alleged originality, urging me to heed the ways of past generations, צאי נא בעקבי הצאן. Yet, in fact, my approach is the one that echoes the traditional derech: engaging earnestly with each person’s concerns, investing time and deep thought. It was commonplace in my youth to witness Gedolim who would ponder extensively, seeking and weighing various facets before arriving at a psak or providing an eitza.

Understanding that the individual in front of you represents another entire world is key. Answering their question isn’t about ticking a box – it’s about acknowledging their entirely different universe; literally an ‘Oilam Acher’. So when I face the world, I do so with awe, as involvement with the world inherently points towards something grander.

The middos ro’es or the dismissive attitude which are to blame, signal more than mere personality flaws; they reveal a deficiency in Yiras Shomayim. The mindset that everything is predictable and already known, that we only engage with that which we understand or that which benefits us – such attitudes stem from a lack of awe, of this basic point of Yiras Shomayim regarding the involvement with the world.

This is the fundamental Yiras Shamayim, which is alluded to in the verse: בַעֲבוּר תִּהְיֶה יִרְאָתוֹ עַל פְּנֵיכֶם לְבִלְתִּי תֶחֱטָאוּ – זו הבושה.

What does this mean? Bushah is the sense of humility that arises from recognizing our own shortcomings. I am misbayesh because I recognize my own smallness. Therefore, the essence of Yiras Shamayim is recognizing one’s own insignificance, that it’s not about you. I’m standing before something much greater. This could be another person, the world, the reality around me, or the Borei Olam Himself. It’s about recognizing something much larger than oneself. That’s the fundamental principle of Yiras Shamayim.

Yet, we witness a world obsessed with control, with a belief that attaining power is at the heart of success. This is the illusion the goyishe world tries to instill in us – a life devoid of Yiras Shamayim, of awe from a grander reality.

Ever ponder why someone would aspire to be President of the United States, a truly crazy ambition; why would anyone genuinely desire such an overwhelming responsibility? I once plainly asked a bochur if he harbored such aspirations, to which he unabashedly answered in the affirmative. “Rak Ein Yiras Eloikim BaMakom Hazeh,” I thought. How could you entertain such a thought, knowing full well the enormity of the task exceeds you? 

The underlying reason is a desire to be in charge, to command authority. This isn’t about serving the public, despite the grandiose proclamations made in the lofty inauguration speech; they seldom match the reality that follows, only going downhill from there.

In truth, you seek authority. You relish the notion of the entire United States being like your own small corner; a hefty chunk of the world as your personal ‘playground’ – a delightful, enticing reality.

‘Rak Ein Yiras Elokim BaMakom Hazeh VeHareguni.’ Such ambition is perilous; you will become a danger to society. It’s not your backyard to govern. Why then the aspiration? Someone once candidly told me: it is a tug-of-war between the seichel and the middos – he knows better, and despite that, he still yearns for it. Why is that?

This desire for control, for power over the tzibbur, stems from a lack of Yireh – a refusal to see oneself as subservient to something greater. The entire goyishe world hinges on this very premise – an absence of awe from a grander reality, the feeling of something greater than us.

Notice, I’m intentionally not speaking about perceiving the Borei Olam within reality, the way as we previously discussed. That follows naturally. When you perceive the world this way, inevitably, you’ll behold the Borei Olam as well.

Rather, what I’m emphasizing here is a fundamental prerequisite to perceiving the Borei Olam: recognizing that it’s not all about us. Only then are you fit to see Hashem in the world. But if you’re self-absorbed and approach life as if everything’s meant to serve your desires, you will only see your own tayves – as we have seen previously when working on Tayves A’chille. 

There is a deep reason why I’m not saying it must be about recognizing the Borei Olam, the Ratzon Hashem – though, inevitably, that’s our ultimate goal. To grasp this, you need maturity: engage your ears, connect them to your seichel, and let that inform your essence; otherwise it will fly over your head.

R’ Avrohom Eliyahu Kaplan, the illustrious talmid of Slobodka, whom R’ Yitzchak Hutner esteemed above all others, wrote in ‘Be’ikvos HaYireh’ that the Jewish approach is not to constantly emphasize and speak of Borei Olam, as כבוד אלוקים הסתר דבר – the honor of Hashem involves concealing matters.

Certainly, Hashem’s presence is the ultimate reality we strive to connect with. But it should not be on our lips constantly. It is to be discovered b’tznius – internally and discreetly, through a mindset that the world is greater than oneself.

If you go into bein hazmanim with this mindset, your Yiras Shamayim will flourish. You’ll find that life itself will be approached with Yiras Shamayim. Good middos, profound insights, and sincere avodah will naturally emerge. This is how we enrich our ruchnius.

Only then will you see the true beauty of bein hazmanim, and understand why great tzaddikim retreated during the summer, like R’ Yeruchem, who stayed well into Elul. And you wonder, why the retreats; why not to continue learning as normal?

No, involvement in Avodas Hashem must extend beyond the beis medrash, incorporating Yiras Shamayim into all facets of the world – not exclusively during learning in yeshivah. It is an error to approach it so, as the bein hazmanim will still be a pirtza. It would be preferable to remain in the yeshivah; why have a bein hazmanim at all?

This way of Yiras Shamayim is not burdensome. It doesn’t involve forcing yourself or coercion. Rather, it’s about how you perceive things – it’s not centered around you. It’s as if you’ve been granted access to the grandest palace of the mightiest king. There you are, treated to a glimpse of majesty, inspiring gevaldige feelings of awe. It’s when you realize that you’re a part of something majestic and much larger than yourself that genuine middos tovos, along with deeper insights in avodah and Yiras Shomayim, begin to emerge.

Thus, it’s essential to enter bein hazmanim with this hargosheh, contemplating ways to enhance it. I heartily advise you to carry a notebook during this period to jot down any inspirations or revelations. This practice is enormously beneficial, as certain insights are unique to bein hazmanim, unlikely to surface during the routine structure of the zman when immersed in learning and established daily routines.

Bein hazmanim offers a treasure trove of precious perceptions and hargoshes that can lay the groundwork for a more profound avodas Hashem, provided we capture and preserve them in writing.

This was the Mashgiach’s practice. He dedicated his bein hazmanim to introspection, to tuning into the subtle voice of the Ribono Shel Olam manifesting through his interactions with the world, reinforcing his emunah, strengthening his Yiras Shomayim, fostering middos tovos, and recording these experiences as a guide for life.

This is more than just a simple routine; it’s an approach to life. When we navigate life with openness to awe of a grander reality, we can sideline the negative traits that often intrude unbidden. This is foundational for our engagement with the world.

Whatever your future role may be – mashgiach, rosh yeshiva, maggid shiur, kiruv worker, or even in business – this approach will be instrumental. It will foster growth and progress, elevating rather than diminishing you.

Yiras Shomayim is multifaceted and dynamic; it manifests differently in learning Torah, tefillah, kiyum mitzvos, worldly interactions, even in our approach to physical desires. It is adaptable, clothing itself in various levushim based on the situation at hand. And by aligning our actions with Yiras Shomayim, we access a broader spectrum of its expression.

It’s not על מנת שתעלה לרקיע. This is no lofty, unattainable ideal; it’s an enjoyable, invigorating, and achievable way of life. You’ll find it enhances every aspect of your life in the most rewarding of ways.

There might be moments on this journey when one feels as if they’ve regressed or encountered shortcomings. That’s okay. This is akin to what the Chazon Ish teaches about bitachon: those truly connected to it often feel inadequate in it, while some who speak confidently of it may actually lack true bitachon. Similarly, in the realm of Yiras Shomayim, the sense of insufficiency can be a sign of sincere engagement with its depth and demands. It’s an exhausting journey but ultimately fulfilling.

During such phases, you might not immediately recognize growth, but this feeling of struggle is actually a harbinger of progress. Persist in your efforts, and eventually, you’ll look back to see how much you’ve flourished in Yiras Shomayim, especially after a period like bein hazmanim, which offers a unique space for growth in ruchiyus.