ויותר יעקב לבדו ויאבק איש עמו עד עלות השחר (בראשית ל”ב כ”ה)
רש”י: ולי נראה שהוא לשון ויתקשר… שכן דרך שנים שמתעצמים להפיל איש את רעהו שחובקו ואובקו בזרועותיו. ופירשו רבותינו ז“ל שהוא שרו של עשו.
Rashi: “And a man wrestled with him – And it appears to me that it means ‘and he bound himself to’… for it is the way of two people who are struggling to topple each other that one hugs and ties up the other with his arms. And our Sages z”l explained that this man was the angel of Esav.”
Wrestling is an “intimate” form of combat. Two opponents draw close to each other and “hug” with zero distance separating them. From this position, each wrestler attempts to gain the upper hand that will enable him to throw his adversary to the ground.
It is in this manner that Yaakov (and at times his descendants) is forced to struggle with Esav: to come close to, and even touch, the “רע”. As Rashi writes, the angel of Esav “bound himself” to Yaakov. Of course, it is most dangerous to be found in such close proximity to an enemy; even if one triumphs, he will most likely be injured in some way, as Yaakov was.
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How did Esav manage to injure Yaakov? He dislocated Yaakov’s leg: “And the ball of Yaakov’s thigh became dislocated in his wrestling with him.” The legs are not the person himself, but rather an extension of his body. While arms are used to serve and bring things toward the person, the purpose of the legs is to allow the person to go out into the world. Thus, we find that our Sages refer to one’s offspring as being his legs: “ברא כרעיה דאבוה” – a son is the legs of his father (Eiruvin 70b), because one’s children are an extension of himself. Even though the angel of Esav could not overcome Yaakov, he was still able, to a degree, to form a disconnect between future generations (Yaakov’s leg) and Yaakov himself. This is what the Ramban here refers to as “דורו של שמד” – generations (which suffer from) religious coercion – when Esav seeks to disconnect Klal Yisroel from its source.
It would therefore follow that as Yaakov’s descendants, our objective should be to connect to former generations, to hold on to our mesorah, tradition. We should, however, be careful how we go about doing so. People often confuse faithfulness to their mesorah with mere imitation. And it is very often a poor imitation. Take a woman whose mother always had her Shabbos preparations finished by midday Friday. But unlike her mother, this woman works out of the house, including Friday mornings. If she pushes herself to keep up the family tradition in the most superficial sense, namely to perform the exact same action, there is a good chance that she will be increasing the stress level in her home erev Shabbos, and her children might even grow resentful. Rather, she should consider the inner significance, the essence of her mesorah. Then she can explore how she can continue her mesorah in way that fits her lifestyle. She can draw up for herself a cleaning schedule that is more forgiving, but that she (and her family) can actually keep without going crazy. She can play music and buy treats for her children to enjoy while she lights candles. Be creative! We can continue our mesorah when we identify its essence, because matters of essence are forever relevant.
