ויאמר יוסף אל אחיו אני יוסף העוד אבי חי ולא יכלו אחיו לענות אתו כי נבהלו מפניו. (בראשית מ”ה ג’)
Today, everyone is searching for Penimius – inner meaning; be it in Torah, marriage, or life in general. But they won’t find it simply by acquiring more information, as esoteric or philosophical as it may be. The word “Penimius” denotes that there exists an outer “layer” and an inner “layer”. By definition, there can be no inner layer without an outer layer. In the realm of Torah, for example, a deep understanding can only be achieved after one first understands the matter on a simpler level.
It thereby follows that Penimius can be found only if one is willing to revisit material that he has already learnt and to learn it again. Such a willingness is sorely lacking today. People ask, “why should I learn this topic again if I understood it already?” They are only willing to learn a sugya a second time if more information will be added (like an additional commentator), or if they potentially made a mistake the first time. But that cannot truly be called learning on a deeper level. They are still occupied with the initial, outer level, only that they are broadening it, or filling in the “holes”. Learning with Penimius begins only after the person already understands the sugya sufficiently, when there are no “holes”.
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Likewise, if a person is unwilling to assume a different perspective or arrive at a different conclusion than he did the first time, he is still occupied with the initial, outer layer. If he cannot let go of his original conclusions, then he will not discover anything deeper or more penimi. (That does not mean that he must change his mind, only that he must be open to the possibility.) He must learn the sugya once, and then, learn it again.
This can be immensely challenging for a person, as it runs counter to human nature. Naturally, the human mind makes assumptions and builds upon them. This mode of thinking allows us to progress through life efficiently and even improve. Imagine you would have to reevaluate and relearn how to make breakfast every morning or browse your emails; everyday tasks would take hours instead of minutes. But if a person is searching for depth – not only in Torah, but in any area of life – he must learn to look at things afresh, even if he knows them already.
Take, for example, the interactions between Yosef and his brothers in Egypt. Why didn’t they realize that this was Yosef standing before them? This mysterious Egyptian ruler had taken an unusual interest in them and their families. He sat them at tables according to their respective ages, and claimed that he obtained this information from a charmed goblet. (Rashi מג:לג) All the hints suggested that this was Yosef! The reason is because they were blinded by their first assumption that Yosef was a slave, and were therefore unable to form a second opinion.
This is the challenge before us, and it is not easy. Just like Yosef’s brothers, we often fall into the mistake of relying on false assumptions. And as we mentioned above, this is not just a matter of avoiding mistakes. The ability to arrive at a second opinion is critical to finding Penimius in anything. We need to take a fresh look at the Gemora that we already know, at our spouses and children, at mitzvos that we have been performing for decades, prayers that we know backwards and forwards. The challenge is great, but the potential reward is much greater.
