“ותהר לאה ותלד בן ותקרא שמו ראובן כי אמרה כי ראה ד’ בעניי כי עתה יאהבני אישי.”
“ראובן “אמר רבי אלעזר אמרה לאה ראו מה בין בני לבן חמי דאילו בן חמי אף על גב דמדעתיה זבניה לבכירותיה… חזו מה כתיב ביה וישטם עשו את יעקב… ואילו בני אף על גב דעל כרחיה שקליה יוסף לבכירותיה מניה… אפילו הכי לא אקנא ביה דכתיב וישמע ראובן ויצלהו מידם. (ברכות ז:)
“Reuven”- Rebbi Elazar said, “Leah said “See the difference between my son and the son of my father-in-law. Even though the son of my father-in-law willingly sold the right of the firstborn, still it is written that ‘Eisav hated Yaakov’. Whereas my son, even though the right of the firstborn was taken from him against his will and given to Yosef, still he did not resent him, as it written ‘And Reuven heard, and he saved him from their hands.” (Berachos 7b)
If you had to prove your worth as a person, what ‘evidence’ would you submit in your favor? Perhaps you would invoke your greatest accomplishments: “Siyum HaShas B’Iyun”. Or you might present the occasions when your individual maalos were able to shine through: “The warm smile that strengthened many”. Or maybe you would display your hard work and determination. Leah Imeinu, however, found worthiness in a very different place.
The background to the birth of Reuven was the question of Leah’s suitability as the wife of Yaakov. Yaakov did not choose Leah as a wife; he held that it was Rachel with whom he was destined to establish Klal Yisroel. The merit of Reuven as the first of Yaakov’s sons, the “שבטי ק-ה”, was the validation of Leah as Yaakov’s wife and a mother of Klal Yisroel. And she was validated, in an unexpected but powerful way.
The true value of an individual can only be measured when things do not go as planned. How does he react then? Reuven lost the right of the firstborn, and he had brought it upon himself. In that situation precisely, with his future having crashed down around him, his great worth is revealed — the distinction between the “שבטי ק-ה” and Eisav.
As long as life progresses as we would like, we are able to carry out and express our רצונות, our wants and desires. And very often those retzonos are good and deep. But Man is deeper than his desires; he exists beyond his retzonos. Typically, as life progresses, our actions and decisions reveal our retzonos. A man wakes up, readies himself, goes to shul and davens. Apparently, he desired to daven, which is beautiful. But when life falls apart, and nothing goes as planned, then we get a glimpse of the person’s inner self. There are no retzonos — just him. If the same man were to wake up and find himself violently ill, and not up to doing anything, we would be closer to seeing who he really is. He cannot go to shul, but will he whisper a few words of Tefilla to the Borei Olam? Right there, we can see who he is.
Reuven’s worthiness was the validation of Leah Imeinu. But she found that worthiness not at his most glorious moment, when his noble aspirations were finally realized, but rather at his lowest moment, when all his hopes– the crown of the firstborn, the crown of kingship, the crown of priesthood– were lost. The contrast between Reuven and Eisav is the contrast between firstborns who lost the bechora; Reuven was proven to be unlike Eisav, and so Leah was proven to be suited as Yaakov’s wife. This was the truest and most powerful validation of Leah: the worth of Reuven himself.
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The Gemora (Avodah Zara 3a) relates that at the end of days, the gentiles will ask from Hashem “Master of the Universe, give us (the Torah) now and we will perform it”. Hashem agrees to give them one mitzvah: the Succah. Immediately, every gentile goes out to his backyard and builds a Succah, but when Hakadosh Baruch Hu brings an intense heat, they kick their Succos and leave. The Gemora asks that a Jew in the same situation will also exit the Succah because of the rule: “המצטער פטור מן הסוכה”. And the Gemora answers “נהי דפטור בעוטי מי מבעטי”- true, they are exempt, but they do not kick.” Hakadosh Baruch Hu did not test the gentiles according to their aspirations, but rather how they would react when those aspirations came falling down. That is the truest testimony to a person’s worth and the true distinction between Yisroel and Eisav.