The days of Bein HaMetzarim call us to mourn and reflect on the destruction of our Beis HaMikdash, yet many struggle to connect with this mourning and the pain of the churban. During these days especially, we must strive to understand what hinders us from feeling, even to a small degree, the profound loss of Tzion and Yerushalayim.
First, we must recognize that the essence of the churban HaBayis is not a private tragedy but a universal one. The churban caused that the Shechinah would be without a fixed makom in this world, stripping the entire world of kedushah and spiritual elevation. As Chazal teach (Mishnah Sotah 9:12), “From the day the Beis HaMikdash was destroyed, no day is free of a curse, the dew does not fall for blessing, and the taste has vanished from fruits.” The entire world has been diminished in kedushah, goodness, and blessing.
Just as the churban is universal, so too must our longing for the rebuilding of the Beis HaMikdash be universal—a yearning for the redemption of the world, where the Shechinah will once again have a makom, and the world will once again be filled with kedushah and spiritual elevation. This longing must not, chalilah, stem from a desire for solutions to personal troubles, rachmana litzlan. Such a focus borders on apikorsus, for the churban is a universal calamity, far beyond any individual hardship. The entire world is lacking, and our anticipation is for the world to return to its kedushah, to openly express the reality of the Borei Olam.
For us to develop a connection and sense of mourning over the churban of the world—from an understanding that the world itself lacks goodness—we must relate to and remain alert to the reality of the world. As long as reality does not speak to us, we cannot connect to the churban HaBayis.
Indeed, people generally find meaning in life only when they feel they are contributing to the world. This is why even those who lack nothing in their personal lives volunteer or join various organizations—one person champions the environment, another develops specialized tools for warfare, and some even risk their lives, all to connect to the world and find purpose.
When we reflect deeply, we see that, unlike the rest of the world, bnei Torah can find fulfillment and meaning independently, without needing to engage with the world. Through learning Torah and fulfilling mitzvos, we feel meaningful, complete and connected, even without relating to the world at large. Yet, in doing so, we may miss that vital point of connection to the world itself.
When a person lives solely in his personal world, then even when troubles occur, his entire concern is how to continue his daily routine. If his main concern is learning with nachas and simcha, he will focus only on how to continue learning with that nachas and simcha. If his priority is a precise daily schedule, that alone will occupy him.
A person’s tendency to live for himself and not remain alert to reality may bring him to a state where even during a time of war, for example, the problem affects him only on a personal level, in that he cannot travel to the north or the south. Clearly, in such a manner, one cannot connect to a universal churban.
However, in truth, we must know that every person bears universal responsibility, and every action of ours has tremendous impact on the world, as explained at length in Nefesh HaChaim (4:11 and elsewhere), which elaborates on how every action, thought, and moment of learning by an individual person has immense significance for all the worlds. As Rav Avraham Elya Kaplan, zt”l, is quoted as saying, bnei Torah are “רואים ואינם נראים”—they see but are not seen. Though hidden in the tent of Torah, they are awake to the world’s events and act accordingly.
To connect, even slightly, to the churban HaBayis, we must reflect on reality and recognize that it speaks to us—it is part of our lives, even if it has not directly harmed us. In a time when reality itself is broken and crying out in deficiency, we must see that deficiency and respond with a sense of responsibility and connection.
Being alert to reality does not mean, chalilah, that we must be occupied with or conform to the world’s perspective on reality. Rather, we must be attentive and recognize that reality is also ours. When we take responsibility, moving beyond our selfish considerations, and understand that our actions have world-wide ramifications, we can better discern the message the Hashem is conveying through reality. Then we can connect and better understand the magnitude of the universal churban and mourn it deeply.