“כי יהיה לאיש בן סורר ומורה איננו שמע בקול אביו ובקול אמו ויסרו אתו ולא ישמע אליהם.”
רש”י: “ …ובן סורר ומורה נהרג על שם סופו, הגיעה תורה לסוף דעתו, סוף שמכלה ממון אביו ומבקש לימודו ואינו מוצא, ועומד בפרשת דרכים ומלסטם את הבריות, אמרה תורה ימות זכאי ואל ימות חייב.”
Rashi: “The Ben Sorer U’Moreh is put to death on account of his end. The Torah comprehended his mind totally. Ultimately, he will finish his father’s money and search out that which he learnt and not find it, and he will stand at the crossroads and plunder people. The Torah says: he should die innocent and not guilty.”
We have learnt the case of the בן סורר ומורה so many times that we may no longer find it surprising. In truth it is shocking: a rebellious young man steals from his father and uses the money to indulge in meat and wine. We kill him. The actual infractions seem so minor in relation to the punishment. Hence our Sages taught that at its core, his death is not a punishment at all. The Torah knows that he will die a guilty man; better to die innocent. This is no less surprising than the initial understanding. A person can live a sinful life for seventy years and still change. The בן סורר ומורה has done so little! Let us reflect on what the בן סורר ומורה has done to determine his fate.
Rashi explains סורר to mean “who strays from the (correct) path”, a description which might be apt for many people. Unlike the others, the בן סורר ומורה will not return to the correct path. His path leads to tragedy because it includes the ruin of both his origin, and his own independent being.
The בן סורר ומורה in his rebelliousness, in his stealing from his father, is rejecting his origin. He becomes a man without a source. The home in which he was raised, with its values, its unique holiness, no longer holds special meaning. The lessons of his youth are no longer a base for the future. He will no longer draw upon his origin as a source of moral strength. The בן סורר ומורה is also זולל וסובא, a glutton and a drunkard. A person ruled by physical cravings loses his objectivity and subsequently his daas, as he becomes fixated on his own gratification. Without daas, controlled by his desires, he is led not by his own essence, but rather by external factors as they play upon him, pulling and pushing him to and fro. As such, the בן סורר ומורה lacks both his origin and his own independent being.
That is the beginning of the path. It starts with stealing from his father and succumbing to his physicality. Subsequently, “he will finish his father’s money”, completing the ruin of his origin. He has completely destroyed his father’s house and there is nothing left even to abuse- or to pull him back. He will “search out that which he learnt and not find it”– he cannot find his old self, opinions, thought, history. They have no meaning for him; his physical desires have left him an empty shell. At the end he becomes a professional robber, a bandit. If he is empty, he will grasp at others in a vain attempt to find contentment. If there is nothing left of him, there are no boundaries; everything and everyone blurs into an arena for physical satisfaction.
Aveiros cannot be evaluated simply. The ways in which they affect us are complex and deep. A seemingly minor misdeed can have grave consequences. The actions of the בן סורר ומורה, while not initially destructive to his surroundings, are extremely so to himself. A person’s origin and his daas are to be cherished and safeguarded; nothing is more crucial to his identity. Through rejecting his origin and relinquishing his daas in favor of desire, the בן סורר ומורה leaves nothing to guide himself back onto “the path”.
Now we can reflect on ourselves as well. What is your origin? How does it anchor you and give you strength? Do you appreciate it enough to let it give you strength? And what guides you- desire or daas?
prepared and edited by: Rabbi Yaakov Weiss
קבלה קטנה (a modest resolution)
During Elul, we look for ways to be זוכה בדין. We explore different means by which our Avodas Hashem will be more consistent and meaningful, less flawed.
Rav Yisroel Salanter taught us that a person should make a קבלה קטנה, a modest resolution that he will be able to keep throughout the year. Still, even these modest resolutions very often don’t last the year. More so, even when they do, we don’t always see any lasting change. Why not? Because the resolution was not related to anything central to our Avodas Hashem. It was a small, “local” resolution and so the effect is limited. A resolution to wear Tefillin of Rabbeinu Tam is surely an improvement in wearing Tefillin, but will it affect a greater change?
We often expect brilliant ideas, profound insights to pave new paths in Avodas Hashem. Yet when we reflect on our personal histories, we see over and over again that these ideas and insights may be the backgrounds of change but are not what causes us to change. We cannot rely on intellectual brilliance. The gateway to genuine change is through action. But not any action- an action with broad meaning. That is what we need from our קבלה קטנה- action which is modest, but vested with importance. To do so, we have to appreciate our simple actions as being part of an entire, lofty world of Avodah.
An illustration. The Gemara in Berachos (14b) teaches, “Rebbi Yochanan said, ‘one who wants to accept upon himself the yoke of the kingdom of Heaven fully should relieve himself, wash his hands, don Tefillin and recite the Shema and pray. And this is the complete acceptance of the kingdom of Heaven.” Relieving oneself and washing hands (in preparation of Shema and prayer) is also part of קבלת עול מלכות שמים! A small, physical action touches upon such a lofty concept! קבלת עול מלכות שמים is not an intellectual exercise, but rather making Hashem our ruler and king, literally. His will is of utmost importance, not our wants and needs. The soul- to “recite the Shema and pray”, and the body- to “relieve himself and wash his hands” are all a part of that kingdom.
And when we appreciate what that קבלה קטנה contains, it will have a lasting importance to us.
For example, you commit to davening in a מקום קבוע. That’s not just “halachically preferable”. Consider how you are approaching Tefilla more seriously, not thoughtlessly doing what is easiest or most comfortable. As such you open a new venue for change and growth.