She’ifah Born of Shayachus and Longing
From our earliest years, we are urged to aspire as high as possible, assured that if we truly aspire with all our strength toward a particular goal, we will surely attain it. Some go further, citing the words of Chazal (Tanna D’vei Eliyahu Rabbah 25): “Each and every one of Yisrael is obligated to declare: When will my deeds reach those of my forefathers Avraham, Yitzchak, and Yaakov?” They insist that if we do not see this realized, it is only because our she’ifah has not been genuine.
There is no question that she’ifah and ratzon to rise and grow are indispensable in avodas Hashem. Yet, as one matures, a question emerges: Is this truly the case? Is the she’ifah to emulate our holy Avos in actuality the proper form of she’ifah according to Torah? Does such a she’ifah elevate a person in avodas Hashem, or does it, from the very outset, merely discourage and dishearten him—confronting him with a challenge so far beyond his reach that it cannot even be imagined?
The Measure of True She’ifah
We must consider how Chazal (Koheles Rabbah 1) describe the structure of man’s ratzon and she’ifah: “Rabbi Yudan said in the name of Rabbi Aivo: No person leaves this world with even half his desires fulfilled. If he has one hundred, he wants two hundred; if he has two hundred, he wants four hundred.” Notably, they do not say that a person desires four hundred from the start. Rather, his she’ifah corresponds to what he already possesses. With one hundred, he seeks two hundred; only upon reaching two hundred does he yearn for four hundred.
From Chazal we learn that authentic she’ifah is built upon the foundation of prior attainment. When we have some connection and achievement in a matter, we want it to become even greater and more elevated. True aspiration is based on the desire to expand and double what we already hold, extending it to new levels and dimensions.
Longing Born of Connection
A parallel idea appears in the Rambam (Hilchos Teshuvah 10:3): “What is proper love? That one should love Hashem with a love exceedingly great and intense, until his soul is bound up in the love of Hashem and he is constantly engrossed in it—like a lovesick person whose mind is never free from the love of that woman, and he is constantly engrossed in her… Even more than this should the love of Hashem occupy the hearts of those who love Him, constantly engrossed in it, as we are commanded: with all your heart and with all
your soul.”
The Rambam teaches that ahavah—our personal, inner bond with the Creator—is built upon longing for Him, akin to love for “that woman.” Longing always presupposes prior connection and involvement; one cannot yearn for what one has never known. Thus, a person who has never tasted nevuah cannot even imagine such a thing.
Growth Within One’s Own Shayachus
We need to have she’ifos in avodas Hashem, but these she’ifos must be rooted in longing. Every ben Torah has, at some point, experienced some involvement in spiritual elevation; it is precisely that point he must aspire to broaden and intensify—trying, in every way, to double that ma’alah of spiritual elevation, to extend it from its present strength into additional realms.
The starting point of she’ifah need not be drawn from realms entirely foreign to us, but rather from that place where we have already experienced shayachus—like the love for “that woman.” It is therefore improper to imagine ourselves actually becoming like our Avos, for we have never experienced nevuah. Instead, we must aspire to expand ever further davka through longing for the very places where we have experienced shayachus—shayachus derived from our own avodah or from our own spiritual strengths. This, in fact, is how the holy Avos themselves ascended immeasurably in their deeds: within the domains of their own shayachus.
This explains the statement of Chazal (Berachos 40a) that the she’ifos of this world resemble “an empty vessel that cannot contain,” while those of the World to Come are “a full vessel that can contain.” In the realm of ruchniyus, only an inner fullness already present can receive and hold more and more. Without that fullness, there is nothing upon which future ma’alos can rest.
Today, our she’ifos tend toward novel excitements; we are unaccustomed to remaining constantly engrossed in the same familiar avodah. Herein lies our task: to examine the ma’alos we have already acquired and consider how to deepen and broaden them, thereby reaching additional ma’alos davka through them. For instance, one who recognizes within himself a shayachus to the ma’alah of listening should aspire to double that strength of listening across further dimensions—in Torah, in tefillah, and as an attentive ear to all who seek counsel. In this manner, his she’ifos and longings in the realm of listening—to which he is already shayach—will propel him to expand and grow more and more in the avodah of life.