The month of Elul is a time of preparation and awakening as we approach the Yamim Nora’im. During these days, we must stir ourselves to awaken, to think deeply about the reality of our lives, and engage in cheshbon hanefesh. We must strive to draw closer to the Borei Yisborach before we crown Him as King on Rosh Hashanah, receiving from Him new life for the coming year, הבאה עלינו לטובה.
B’avonoseinu harabim, in the last two years, Hashem’s relationship with Klal Yisrael has been marked by a heavy hand. The devastating events of Simchas Torah 5784 and afterwards revealed a fearsome and awesome conduct of Hashem toward us. We cannot simply identify with the immense pain without taking responsibility. Rather, we must understand that “because of us, this great calamity has befallen us.” Therefore, we must redouble our efforts to return to Hashem, to forge a closer and more elevated connection with Him, so that His relationship with us in the coming year, הבאה עלינו לטובה, may be closer and gentler as well.
The essence of the avodah of teshuvah, as its name suggests, is to return to Hashem—to build a renewed and more elevated relationship with the Borei Olam. As the darshei rishimos explain, the roshei teivos of Elul are: אני לדודי ודודי לי—I am my Beloved’s, and my Beloved is mine. In this month, we must turn our inner aspiration towards the One Above, as it says in Hoshea (6:1), “Come, let us return to Hashem,” a theme expounded in Nefesh HaChaim (1:17).
The avodah of teshuvah is meant to restore a person’s entire relationship with their Creator. This relationship renews our very form and stature, granting us new life (as appears from the words of Nefesh HaChaim, Sha’ar 4, regarding the distinction that can be made between Chapter 4 and Chapter 17). Indeed, Chazal often speak of “teshuvah u’ma’asim tovim,” indicating that teshuvah and good deeds are distinct from one another.
In fulfilling mitzvos, the focus is primarily on the action itself. But in the mitzvah of teshuvah, the emphasis is on restoring the person and drawing him closer to the Borei. It is not enough to merely perform an act; we must cultivate a deeper relationship with Hashem. As our chachamim—such as the Abarbanel on Yonah (3:8)—teach, this is what sets the teshuvah of Klal Yisrael apart from that of the nations: we repair our de’os—our inner thoughts and understanding—while they focus only on correcting their actions.
The pasuk in Devarim (4:7-8) declares, “For which is a great nation that has a God Who is close to it, as Hashem our God whenever we call to Him? And which is a great nation that has righteous statutes and ordinances like this entire Torah?” From this, we learn that through mitzvos, we become righteous, but only through calling out to Hashem do we draw near to Him. Only by fostering a true relationship on our part can we return to Him.
We must reflect deeply on this. Often, we resolve to take on a small kabbalah, to strengthen ourselves and be meticulous in some particular mitzvah as part of our teshuvah. Yet, we tend to focus on performing that mitzvah with exact precision, according to its halachic details, without delving into the essence of the avodah of teshuvah—building a new, elevated relationship with Hashem.
Creating a connection with the Borei requires aligning our entire being and our kochos hanefesh with Him. To achieve this, we must seek within every mitzvah the point of connection that allows us to forge a close bond with the Borei. Indeed, some mitzvos naturally lend themselves to this work, such as tefillah, whose entire essence is conversing and connecting with Hashem. But when we devote some time to hisbonenus, we can uncover such a point in every mitzvah.
Consider, for example, the bracha of Asher Yatzar. Beyond reciting it accurately from a text and with proper kavanah, we should reflect on the fact that the Borei Olam cares for us personally, tending to our physical needs so that we may fulfill His Torah and reveal the honor of His Name in the world. Such hisbonenus has the power to deepen our relationship with the Borei Yisborach, enabling us to truly return to Him.