The proper Rebbi-Talmid relationship which promotes growth: Mattan Torah and Purim

04 – The proper Rebbi-Talmid relationship which promotes growth: Mattan Torah and Purim

This is a continuation of a previous shiur which highlighted the importance of “koach hameshicha” (the internal motivation) in personal growth.

The proper rebbi-talmid relationship

For a talmid to be drawn to a rebbi, he must feel that he holds a place of importance in the rebbi’s eyes. When a talmid sees that he has a meaningful role to fill in this relationship, he will naturally be drawn toward the rebbi and aspire to fulfill that role.

Unfortunately, in today’s educational system, this aspect is often lacking. Instead of fostering a genuine connection, we frequently rely on external incentives—honors, prizes, money, or compliments—to motivate our talmidim. The talmidim are not shown that they are important in the rebbi’s eyes!

Our goal in creating an “acharecha narutza” (lit: “chasing after”) dynamic with a talmid is to ensure that he feels valued and important in the eyes of his rebbi. Today, we face a crisis of faith among the youth, with many approaching rabbanim with questions in emunah (faith). Often, the suggested solution is to study emunah seforim, but this approach frequently falls short. 

The core issue is that many young people today live in a self-contained bubble, disconnected, without the tools to form deep relationships with a rebbi. Without this connection, they view all major life decisions as entirely their own responsibility—including the decision of whether or not the Torah is true.

In the past, encountering a towering figure like Rav Hutner would naturally reinforce emunah. One would see that Rav Hutner not only excelled in Torah and kabbalah but also possessed vast knowledge in physics, chemistry, music, and literature—yet he was a ma’amin! This provided a powerful model: “If someone far greater than me in every area of knowledge has emunah, then I too can have emunah.”

Today’s youth, however, insist on making the decision entirely on their own. When told, “You don’t need to—your rebbi has already decided,” they dismiss this as intellectually dishonest. But in truth, this is not about dishonesty—it is about connection. The real issue is their lack of external anchors, their inability to deeply connect to a rebbi in a way that allows them to rely on someone beyond themselves.

Our generation is in desperate need of a true connection with a rebbi. Any meaningful connection to a rebbi—someone who serves as an external compass, greater than the talmid—creates a necessary “hole” in a person’s self-contained bubble. This is the key to resolving the issue.

The rebbi does not need to be the greatest scholar in the world, but he must be someone outside of ourselves, someone we recognize as greater than us. The essential point is that a talmid must feel, “I matter to this person who is greater than me.” This makes the hole in the bubble.

Mattan Torah had this component

This is the concept of “Mashechani, acharecha narutza” (a pasuk in Shir Hashirim which means “draw me to you and I will come running”) which took place both at Mattan Torah and on Purim.

The Gemara states that when Hashem declared the first two commandments, the nations of the world assumed the rules were for His own honor. However, when the commandment “Honor your father and mother” was given, they realized the Torah was for Hashem’s glory. In other words, they initially assumed that Hashem simply wanted us to comply with His will, but this misconception was dispelled when they saw that mitzvos were given to benefit Klal Yisrael.

Yet Klal Yisrael never had this mistaken notion. They always knew the Torah was given for their sake, as Chazal teach: “Ratza HaKadosh Baruch Hu l’zakos es Yisrael, lifichach hirba lahem Torah u’mitzvos” (The Holy One Blessed by He wanted to give merits to the Jewish people therefore he gave them much Torah and Mitzvos.) 

This is evident from Hashem’s insistence that Moshe warn the people a 2nd time not to ascend Har Sinai, after Moshe responded, “I already told them.” Hashem instructed Moshe to repeat the warning because, as Rashi explains: Hashem was expressing that even if a single Jew were to die, it would be considered ‘a multitude’ before Him.

This is the key point: Rashi says “lefanav!”—each Jew before Hashem holds immense significance. This is exactly what a talmid needs to feel from his rebbi. Just as Klal Yisrael understood that receiving the Torah was because Hashem truly valued them, so too a talmid must sense that his rebbi truly values him.

Purim had this revelation from the aspect of nature itself

There are two expressions of Ratzon Hashem (Hashem’s will) that we need to focus on:

1. The commandments of Hashem, which directly engage with our bechirah (free will).
2. The will of nature—the background of the world, which operates beyond human choice.

On Purim, a profound revelation took place. Just as at Mattan Torah it was revealed that we are important to Hashem in the realm of commandments, on Purim it became clear that we are important to Hashem in the realm of nature itself. Meaning, the entire teva (natural order) has an underlying intent—to bring goodness to Klal Yisrael.

The Ramban in Bereishis explores this idea when he asks: “What would Adam HaRishon be like without free will?” He answers that Adam would have naturally done what was right, just as the sun and moon follow their ordained paths without needing to “choose.” Adam was meant to be a “natural man”, entirely in sync with the world’s intrinsic design.

This teaches us that teva is not merely an autonomous, mechanical system. Rather, it carries an active agenda—it operates with the ultimate purpose of benefiting Klal Yisrael. This deeper truth of Hashem’s Will in nature was fully revealed on Purim.

The Purim revelation

The revelation of Purim is this: I, as a human being, am the underlying purpose of the natural world. Hashem “needs” that—meaning, until now, we understood that at Mattan Torah, we were important to Hashem in terms of His will for Torah and mitzvos. But Purim reveals that our significance extends even to Hashem’s Will for the natural world itself.

This is the essence of “Moshcheini, Acharecha Narutza.” This is also the key to having a rebbi—wherein a talmid finds himself by the rebbi.

How Ratzon works

We could ask: “What comes first—the desire for something, followed by the joy of attaining it, or the expectation of joy, which then creates the desire?”

This is a Purim-like question because it’s a deep, lofty concept—not simply a psychological observation about human behavior. We are speaking about ratzonos of kedusha (holiness)!

First, we recognize that we exist “by Hashem in a greater way”—that we have a central place in His will. This realization brings an incredible sense of sipuk (fulfillment). Generating an expectation of ta’anug (pleasure) in being there—and only then does a ratzon (desire) to reach that place take root.

This is the deeper meaning of the pasuk “Moshcheini, acharecha narutza!”—the “narutza” reflects the ratzon, while the “moshcheini” represents “seeing that I am already there!” This means that the ta’anug comes before the ratzon.

The “moshcheini” is when the talmid recognizes that he is important in the world of his rebbi, just as Klal Yisroel is important to the Borei Olam, even in the ratzon behind teva. This creates a ratzon. This is different from when a rebbi offers a reward—a prize, a treat, or a compliment—where the motivation is external.

This is the profound revelation of Purim: it highlights that Hashem’s Will is embedded even within nature itself—a truth that will endure le’asid lavo (in the World to Come). It reveals that the individual, with his own bechirah, is also part of the very purpose of creation. Ultimately, the natural world exists to bring good to Klal Yisroel.