WHAT WE MUST NOT FORGET
“ויותר יעקב לבדו ויאבק איש עמו עד עלות השחר.”
רש”י: “ויותר יעקב – שכח פכים קטנים וחזר עליהם.”
Rashi: “And Yaakov remained- He had forgotten small jars and returned for them.”
Chazal were duly impressed that Yaakov Avinu returned in the middle of the night for a few small jars, and inferred from here, “מכאן לצדיקים שחביב עליהם ממונם יותר מגופם”- the righteous cherish their money more so than their own bodies. (Chullin 91a) Rashi, though, emphasizes a different point: he had forgotten small jars. Why was that important to note? If Yaakov had purposely left the jars with the intention of returning for them, would it have made a difference?
We often forget things — umbrellas, jackets, phones, etc. Ask a taxi driver what he hasn’t found in the back seat of his cab. But we never forget ourselves. Or do we? We forget painful episodes in our past, we forget sources of guilt, or shame, we forget obligations. These are all things which help define who we are. By forgetting, we are at the very minimum attempting to isolate these things from our personal history.
Eisav is closely associated with forgetting. We are commanded not to forget his scion, Amalek, meaning that Amalek comes from a perspective of forgetting. In fact, the concept most closely associated with Amalek, of מקרה—happenstance — is a “travelling companion” of forgetting. If something is מקרה, it is not really a part of us, and it is easy to forget. And at times we forget things that we don’t want to be a part of ourselves.
Yaakov Avinu refused to leave any part of himself behind. All of his possessions, everything, were a part of his expression in the world. They were not just things, they were him. Thus, he would not forget any of them, and accordingly he returned for the jars he had forgotten. Precisely at that moment he was attacked by Eisav, or שרו של עשיו. This occurred because, as we explained, Eisav opposes this wholeness, this refusal to forget any part of oneself. This is the point of conflict between Yaakov and Eisav.
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There are two elements which come into play here. The first is: the righteous cherish their money… Nothing of Yaakov Avinu can go to waste. Even minor possessions are a part of the צורת האדם, in its entirety. This is primarily the level of tzaddikim, not the masses. To complicate matters further, as we enjoy an abundance of possessions, we have lost this sensitivity to a great extent. Still, if you own a Shulchan Aruch or a sefer Tehillim, for example, which you have used exclusively for several years, you can acquire a taste of what this means.
The second element is the refusal to forget. The religion of Eisav allows for its members to simply confess their sins to a priest and consequently forget them. There is no need to deal with sin, no Avodah to rectify man; all one must do is forget. We, however, do not forget: “כי פשעי אני אדע וחטאתי נגדי תמיד”- For I know my transgressions and my sin is before me always. Instead, we remember and we work on ourselves. And we do not remember only aveiros. We deal with the entire man: how we are in the Beis Medrash and how we are in the home, during zeman and during vacation, through the joyous times and the sad. Nothing is ignored, nothing is forgotten.