אוי לרשע אוי לשכנו… טוב לצדיק טוב לשכנו (רש”י במדבר ג’:כ”ט, ל”ח)
Woe to the wicked man and woe to his neighbor. [Reuven’s camp was next to Kehas], therefore Dasan and Aviram and the 250 men were smitten along with Korach and his cohorts … Fortunate is the tzaddik and fortunate is his neighbor. Because [Yehuda, Yissachar and Zevulun] were neighbors of Moshe who was occupied in Torah, they became great in Torah. (Rashi, Bamidbar 3:29, 38)
Chazal tell us that our neighbors have a major impact on our lives. That’s surprising. Our family and friends affect us, because we have a close relationship with them. But our contact with our neighbors is superficial and intermittent. How much influence could they possibly have?
On the one hand, our relationship with our neighbors is superficial compared to our friendships. On the other hand, friendships are usually founded on a certain common interest or philosophy, and their impact is more or less confined to that area of commonality. In contrast, living side by side with our neighbors exposes us to their entire way of living, allowing for a broader impact.
If our neighbors live empty, idle lives, we won’t necessarily mimic their actions, but their carefree attitude toward time will slowly trickle into our lives. Without ever sensing their influence, we’re in danger of eventually reaching the same tragic end of a wasted life. Conversely, if our neighbors value Torah, their attitudes will fill the air and have a good chance of bringing us to Torah greatness, according to our abilities. So too the middos of our neighbors – seriousness or frivolity, tension or calmness – have much more impact on us than we realize.
The subtle influence of neighbors isn’t limited to the people who live around us. To a large extent, our “neighbors” in the workplace, shul or study hall have a similar effect on us. We must be aware of this, and whenever possible try to choose our neighbors wisely.