“דבר אל בני ישראל ואמרת אלהם איש איש כי תשטה אשתו ומעלה בו מעל”
(במדבר ה’, י”ב)
“רש”י: “איש איש – ללמדך שמועלת בשתים, באיש מלחמה שלמעלה ואישה מלמטה
Rashi: “A man, a man – To teach you that she betrays two: the ‘Man of War’ above, and her husband below.”
In the Torah, giluy arayos is closely associated with the absence of kedusha. ( See for example, Rashi at the beginning of Parshas Kedoshim.) And we all recognize, almost intuitively, that weaknesses and missteps in this area do have a powerful effect on how we relate to ruchniyus. But why is this so? Why does giluy arayos so strongly counter a person’s inclination towards kedusha?
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This clash between giluy arayos and kedusha is the topic matter of the Rashi above. In addition to the betrayal of her husband, the Sotah likewise betrays her God, but how does this betrayal relate to Hakadosh Baruch Hu specifically in His role as a “איש מלחמה”— Man of War?
Let us ask a more basic question. In what sense can Hakadosh Baruch Hu be referred to as a “Man of War”? If you spot an ant crawling on the floor, and you squish him under your shoe, are you now a “man of war”? Just as there can be no war between yourself and a single ant, because you are vastly stronger and more intelligent, so too, and much more so, there can be no war between the Borei Olam and His creations, at least not in the sense that one side can “beat” the other; we are (not even) ants.
Hakadosh Baruch is not called a “Man of War” because He is most powerful. Rather, the title “ה’ איש מלחמה” refers to the middah of Hakadosh Baruch Hu with which he forces His way into our reality, just as in war one side forces itself upon the other. (Therefore, Amalek is considered to be at war with Hakadosh Baruch Hu( (Shemos 17:16), as their entire mission is to create and maintain a reality without Him.) Hakadosh Baruch Hu wants to penetrate into our reality, to be present, so that the reality should be one of kedusha. And the Sotah, through her actions, pushes kedusha away; thus, she betrays “ה’ איש מלחמה”. Here too, we find that giluy arayos specifically contradicts kedusha, but still we wonder, why is this so?
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Rashi here quotes the teaching of our Sages, “אין המנאפין נואפין עד שתכנס בהן רוח שטות”—the adulterators adulterate only once a spirit of foolishness enters them. What is this spirit of foolishness, where does it come from? Rashi continues “…, וכתוב בו נואף אשה חסר לב”—and it is written of it, ‘One who adulterates with a woman is deficient of heart’. The “spirit of foolishness” is to be found in the heart. We use the heart to feel. The words “שם לב” ( Shemos 9:21) mean to recognize and appreciate. When we say that the adulterator is “deficient of heart”, the intention is that he is unable to be “שם לב”, to recognize and appreciate the greater picture. He is so captured by the taavah, that he does not even appreciate the consequences of his own actions; his heart is numb.
It is this deficiency of heart that so powerfully opposes kedusha. The most basic prerequisite for experiencing kedusha in life is the ability of the person to see “more”, to detect and distinguish a higher meaning and purpose within reality. That is what allows kedusha to enter our world. But giluy arayos makes that impossible, because the person cannot see past his own taavah. He cannot even appreciate the consequences of his own actions, let alone discern within the world around him a higher dimension. He sees only one thing; there is nothing “more”, nothing “higher”. Giluy arayos thereby closes the person off from kedusha, bringing him, like the Sotah, to betray “ה’ איש מלחמה”.