Having seen in the previous essays that working on the ma’alah of seder requires, as an essential prerequisite, a stable and firm ratzon, a task of deep introspection now lies before each of us: to clarify for ourselves what our ruchniyus and gashmius retzonos truly are, and how to build them correctly, so that this will, in turn, shape the seder and course through which they are carried out.
Being Preoccupied with Mitzvos
Let us begin with the ruchniyus aspect. The phrase “Yisrael trudim b’mitzvos” is generally understood as a preoccupation with fulfilling halachah in all its details and in its entirety, so that afterward we can tell ourselves that we checked and rechecked, and that the mitzvah was performed with great hiddur. But the Gra, in Mishlei (5:20), writes that a person who is preoccupied with the affairs of this world cannot preoccupy himself with mitzvos, because his mind is already occupied by the world. It would seem, then, that our preoccupation with mitzvos should resemble that of a person who sits and worries about how to secure a parnasah or conduct commerce.
Now, a person’s concern with earning a living is not so that he can tell himself that he checked and double-checked and indeed secured a fine parnasah. Rather, it is the fulfillment of a primary ratzon and responsibility: to provide for his household. Accordingly, our preoccupation with mitzvos, too, should flow from a primary ratzon and from the awareness that we have a tafkid—a role or mission—in this world, and should not revolve solely around the question of whether we fulfilled the mitzvah in all its details.
Worldly concerns generally do not arise from a need to meet particular standards, but from thinking about how to realize some ambitious desire. In the performance of mitzvos, however, we often find ourselves preoccupied only with meeting a standard, while beyond that, the pursuit of mitzvos does not concern us at all. Yet the comparison between worldly concerns and the preoccupation with mitzvos compels us to recognize that we must be preoccupied with the very ratzon to fulfill our tafkid, and that we must exert our minds to devise a suitable course of action that will bring the idea to fruition.
A Ratzon that Allows for Many Paths
The establishment of the ratzon must be such that it is not tied to one single course of fulfillment. Rather, it should be a basic idea that can be realized through many different courses, so that even when a particular seder is lacking, another course remains available to sustain the ratzon.
Let us examine ourselves: What is our preoccupation with tefillah? Is it solely a matter of kavanas hamilim and enunciating the words properly, so that afterward we can look back with satisfaction and say that we davened with proper kavanah? Or is it an inner and profound ratzon for a connection with the Borei?
If the preoccupation stems from a ratzon for connection, it compels us to find numerous and more creative ways to stand and direct our hearts properly before the King, in keeping with the changes that occur in the circumstances of the mispallel. But if the preoccupation is merely with the words, there will almost always be only one way to accomplish this. When a person’s situation changes, he will have no alternative approaches, and he will ultimately come under constant pressure and experience failure, chas v’shalom.
The same applies to our ratzon in talmud Torah. We must examine whether it is focused on a single point, such as learning b’iyun or learning b’bekiyus, or whether it is a deeper ratzon that can encompass many courses. Indeed, if our desire to learn is based solely on one particular method of learning, we may often fall into despair when, for a variety of reasons rooted in the realities of our lives, it does not work out.
But if it is a deeper ratzon that can encompass many courses, then even when we cannot act in one manner, we will always be able to act in another: if we cannot learn b’iyun, we will learn b’bekiyus, and if we cannot succeed in learning Mishnah, we may yet succeed in learning Mikra.
Clarifying our Gashmius Ratzon
So, too, in gashmius: we must first clarify what our ratzon is in the first place. Often a person may find himself wandering through a newspaper and the like, moving from one item to the next without any direction or order guiding him. Were we to ask him what he is looking for, he would not know how to answer, because in truth he is not looking for anything, as he has no ratzon leading him. But if he had a clear ratzon, he would set out to find a way to realize it, and would not wander aimlessly this way and that.
The Depth of the Ratzon and the Paths to Fulfillment
In every action a person undertakes, he must clarify for himself what his ratzon is. If it is well ordered within him, he will be able to act in a variety of ways to bring that ratzon to fruition, such as in his tafkid as the provider of his household and the like. But as long as the ratzon is not ordered within him, no effective action can emerge from his deeds. And the deeper and more value-driven a person’s ratzon, the more numerous and varied the ways he will have of bringing it to fruition.