The atmosphere of bein hazmanim is characterized by a feeling of freedom, of being without obligations. Generally, these days lack rigid, demanding sedarim. A person feels as though his time is entirely his own, absolutely free to choose his path under his own authority. Yet, we must carefully consider the potential pitfalls hidden within this sense of autonomy.
It’s all too easy to observe that, often, when a person steps out into the broader world—whether meeting others with differing perspectives, embarking on vacations or outings, or encountering new experiences—undesirable negative middos surface. Jealousy, competitiveness, ta’avah, and ga’avah can awaken within him. This raises a critical question: why do these negative traits emerge so readily? Why aren’t positive middos, such as chesed, nedivus, tznius, or anavah, revealed and awakened instead?
The answer lies in the essence of yiras Shamayim, which is rooted in the recognition that a person is not his own master. The term “Shamayim” derives from “sham,” meaning “there”—a reminder of something higher above. A person imbued with yiras Shamayim does not navigate the world as if it belongs to him, seeking only personal gratification. Rather, the awe of his Master, Who obligates and commands and instructs him with taryag mitzvos, is upon him.
Consider Avraham Avinu’s words to Avimelech (Bereishis 20:11): “Because I said, ‘There is but no yiras Elokim in this place, and they will kill me because of my wife.’” The absence of yiras Shamayim leads a person to view the world as his personal domain. In such a mindset, if a new woman comes along, she too belongs to the king, to such an extent that they can even kill for this, because everything belongs to them.
When a person has yiras Shamayim he doesn’t conduct himself as if the world is his own; rather, he approaches the world with the recognition of a Higher Authority above him. This perspective fosters middos like nedivus and anavah in all his interactions with the world. He doesn’t immediately assume everything belongs to him; instead, he is able to accept that there is something and someone else here — not everything is his.
Conversely, without yiras Shamayim, a person feels as if the world is his private property, and everything in it is meant solely for his personal pleasure and benefit. This mindset causes negative middos, such as competition, ga’avah, and the like, to surface in every worldly encounter, because he views everything through the lens of ownership and entitlement. This explains why exposure to the world often awakens negative traits, which only reinforce a worldview devoid of yirah, where everything is “mine.”
This dynamic is especially relevant during bein hazmanim. During the demanding days of routine, it’s easier for us to feel the yoke of yiras Shamayim, which commands us to act with the understanding that we are not our own masters. However, when we are not under an obligating and demanding framework, when we are again under our own authority, it’s very easy to slip into the illusion that everything is in our hands. Such an approach, rachmana litzlan, can lead to spiritual and even physical dangers, as Avraham Avinu warned.
Delving deeper, we uncover another layer: When a person approaches the world with yiras Shamayim, he understands that he doesn’t know everything. The world will always be a source of new lessons and insights. But without yiras Shamayim, a person may act as if the world is already his; it’s as if it holds nothing new for him—everything is already familiar. This closes him off to growth, leaving him stagnant, cultivating only negative middos without learning about himself or the world.
Moving forward, we must internalize that we are not our own masters. Especially during bein hazmanim, when the temptation arises to view this time as “ours” and the world as our possession, we must sharpen our awareness of the Higher Authority above us. The world is not fully known to us from long ago; it holds vast lessons waiting to be learned. Yes, we should refresh, enjoy, rest and relax in this time, but always with yiras Shamayim—with the recognition that a Greater Authority governs the world, offering us endless opportunities to grow in our understanding of ourselves and of Him.